A study commissioned by the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum, a new institution that claims to be dedicated to helping visitors understand the First Amendment but is clearly a Communist front organization, has found that Americans know more about the Simpsons television family than they do about the freedoms contained in the First Amendment.
The study found that only one in four Americans could name two or more of the five freedoms protected by that amendment, but more than half could name two or more of the five Simpsons.
Twenty-two percent of Americans could name all five Simpsons. Able to name all five First Amendment freedoms: one in 1,000. Similarly, more people could name all three American Idol judges than could name three of the First Amendment freedoms.
Thirty-eight percent mistakenly thought that the right against self-incrimination was part of the First Amendment, which is not too disturbing given that "Fifth" and "First" sound so similar, although now that I think about it, given how often people "take the Fifth" on TV, that actually is disturbing. What "Fifth" do the other 62 percent think people are taking?
One out of every five people thinks the First Amendment protects the right to own a pet. Obviously, that is one of our Ninth Amendment freedoms. (Hey, the Ninth has to do something, right.)
You, of course, are easily able to name all five First Amendment freedoms off the top of your head, without even looking at some sample lists such as those provided for this survey that appears in the MSNBC article. Based on the (unscientific) poll results, only 75 percent of respondents chose the correct list of five, after reading an article on the issue in which the link appears.
Maybe they didn't scroll all the way to the bottom of the article. Don't you cheat, though.