Who Not to Steal From, #287

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As in Who Not to Steal From, #165, the answer here is also "The judge presiding over your criminal hearing."  In #165, the item stolen was the judge’s gavel, which has a certain special comedy to it, but there the item was apparently stolen while the judge was out of the room momentarily.

Here, the defendant apparently stole from the judge during the hearing, which is very impressive indeed.  It is hard to see how that could happen, but that’s what the report said: "Police in the central town of Coburg[, Germany,] said that while facing her at the bench, the man pocketed a bunch of keys from the judge, who did not notice until [the man] had left the room."  So, not only did he steal during the hearing, he stole something jingly.  This guy is good.

At least with his hands.  Court officers found the keys hidden under a toilet brush in the restroom (also the defendant’s location at the time).  He admitted he had put them there but said he had been "shocked to discover the keys in his pocket."  He said he hid the keys because he "realized how suspicious [that] story would sound."

Although you wouldn’t think stealing from your judge would be a good strategic move, the report did say that the original proceeding had been temporarily suspended to consider whether a different judge should be appointed, on the grounds that the original one might show bias as a result of the key theft.

Link: Reuters via MyWay News