Plaintiff in Assassination-Conspiracy Case Will Take Less Than $1.4 Billion for Quick Settlement

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Poor Loli Wang has been the target of a massive conspiracy to assassinate her in every way possible, or at least that’s what her many lawsuits allege.  Luckily, the conspirators always seem to fail.  I noticed that the most recent attempt, by that heartless utility Pacific Gas & Electric, was especially insidious:

Loli Wang v. Pacific Gas and
Electric Company
5/4/2007 RG07-324365

Complaint for assassination
conspiracy. The defendant conspired to install more than 30 deadly carbon
monoxide gas devices in the plaintiff’s apartment. She seeks $1.4 billion, or
less for an immediate, out-of-court settlement.

In Pro Per

Damn you, Pacific Gas and Electric, you scoundrel!  Let this woman be!

Admirably, even in the face of such evil, Ms. Wang is still willing to compromise, actually offering to take less than the $1.4 billion she deserves in exchange for a quick settlement of the matter.

A PG&E spokesperson said that the company did not comment on pending litigation, but that it was considering tying Ms. Wang to some train tracks and insisting that she sign over her mortgage.

Courthouse News Service (reported May 4, 2007).