“Too Drunk to Remember” Excuse Deployed by Federal Judge

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News outlets in Denver are reporting that the chief federal judge in Colorado is facing some questions over credit card charges incurred at the "Diamond Cabaret" in downtown Denver.  For you cynics out there thinking that a place called the "Diamond Cabaret" is necessarily a naked-lady place, just because you happen to be right this time doesn’t mean you should rush to judgment in the future.

The judge managed to run up $3,000 in Diamond-Cabaret-related charges during a two-day period, a rather startling amount.  Assuming (based solely on Wikipedia research, of course) that a lap dance costs $20 at the Diamond Cabaret, $3,000 would buy 150 lap dances, or an average of 3.12 lap dances per hour for the 48-hour period in question.  Assuming that the judge spent only ten hours per day at the establishment, the average increases to 7.5 per hour.  Put another way, and after doing more Wikipedia research, I would estimate that $3,000 is sufficient for roughly ten continuous hours of lap dancing.  That seems unlikely, although the Guinness Book apparently does not track this statistic for record-keeping purposes, but it do help put the amount in perspective, do it not?

Anyway, it was a whole lot of something, or at least that was how the judge’s wife felt about it.  The charges appear to have at least contributed to the decision to end their three-year marriage, and led to some difficult questioning in the divorce proceedings last month.  Asked how he could have spent so much money, a fair question (see above), he testified, "I had had a lot to drink . . . and I don’t remember."  That statement is either the truth, or better than the truth, so I’ll just assume it’s the truth.

The investigative team that broke the story, 9Wants to Know at 9NEWS in Denver, said it had shown the transcripts of the judge’s testimony to its legal analyst, Scott Robinson.  The judge "had at least one lost night at the Diamond Cabaret," he opined after careful legal analysis, "and of course that goes to the question of whether that is acting with at least the appearance of impropriety, contrary to the code of conduct for federal judges," which is quite similar to the code for those married to women who are married to federal judges.

The report did not say whether the judge faced any disciplinary action based on the appearance-of-impropriety standard or any other applicable rules.

Link: 9NEWS.com