Lowering the Bar

Indiana Attorneys Work in Firm With Barred Windows

For you associates who sometimes feel like you are stuck in a (high-paying) prison -- attorneys at Woods and Woods in Evansville, Indiana, actually work in jail.

In 2004, the firm moved its office to the former Vanderburgh County Jail, which was built in 1890 and used as a jail until the late 1960s.  It then sat empty until being renovated (to some extent) in 1994.  According to the report, the old jail is now referred to as "the Old Jail," likely to distinguish it from the new one.  (The Old Jail is across the street from the old courthouse, now called "the Old Courthouse.")  The four attorneys and 30 or so employees of Woods and Woods now occupy the second floor of the building.

The firm's former office was near the Old Jail, and Mike Woods said he'd always liked the building and hated to see it deteriorate.  So in 2003 the firm bought the lease (from the "Old Courthouse Foundation") and was instrumental in getting it cleaned up and renovated further.   "We'd come over here every night after work and fill one Dumpster, then the garbage truck drivers would hall it off and we'd fill another," Woods said.  He said they did that 44 times, so hopefully the "we" includes whoever did the 1994 "renovation."

Woods likes the fact that the Old Jail was modeled on Lichtenstein Castle in Germany, a neo-Gothic structure built in 1842.  The resemblance is easy to see -- although it looks like somebody put the Old Tower on the wrong side.  The Old Jail is still linked to the Old Courthouse by a tunnel (also old) that was used to transfer prisoners (of all ages), and was once the "focal point" of a 1903 race riot (the "Old Race Riot" -- okay, I'll stop) that lasted a week and left 12 people dead.  Those facts likely make working in the Old Jail much more [choose one: (a) awesome (b) creepy (c) both].  Also fun: there are still bars on the windows.

Woods said that firm employees are "always joking" that "they can't get away, or saying we're slave drivers."  Yes . . . joking.  Actually, Woods and Woods (and Evansville) sounds like the kind of place where those comments really could be taken as jokes.  As opposed to big firms out on the coasts, where tunnels between the library and the associate compound are common, and parole is all too rare.

Link: Evansville Courier Press
Link: AP via the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette

Missouri City Joins Campaign Against Saggy Pants

Earlier this month, the Board of Aldermen in Pine Lawn, Missouri, voted to impose fines for wearing pants that sag below the waist, joining several other communities bravely fighting this scourge of modern society.

Pine Lawn is a small community of about 4,000 people, located in St. Louis County (just west of the city).  In the past it has suffered from financial problems and official mismanagement (see "The Little City That Couldn't," Riverfront Times, July 5, 2006), but maybe that will change now that Pine Lawn has its priorities straight.  The new law prohibits pants worn below the waist if said wearing of low pants exposes undergarments or skin.  Offenders can be fined $100, with a $500 fine (or jail time) for parents who knowingly allow their children's pants to ride low.

According to the mayor, Sylvester Caldwell, the ordinance was prompted by a group of developers who visited the city this summer, and apparently suggested that the city needed to "change its image."  He said the developers (who were not identified) specifically mentioned the issue of low-rise pants.  Caldwell said he has tried to deal with the problem informally -- taking young people aside and asking them "Why do you sag?" -- but to no avail.  Asked "What about plumbers?" local police chief Rickey Collins "chuckled" and said, "It's the police officer's discretion."

That's one reason it might be unconstitutional, says the ACLU.  And because Pine Lawn's population is overwhelmingly African-American, local ACLU director Redditt Hudson predicted the law might also be open to charges of racial profiling, if it were ever enforced.  Caldwell (who is also African-American) wasn't worried.  "That's what we have an attorney for," he said.

For now, the law is not really being enforced, other than as something for officers to cite when rousting offenders for "showing their behinds."  Collins said there would not be a "pants patrol," at least not anytime soon.  "We just want them to be mindful," he said.  "And if you come to Pine Lawn, pull your pants up."

Link: St. Louis Post-Dispatch

UPDATE: Battle Over Cat Jurisdiction Enters Fifth Year

Back in July, I reported on a dispute between federal and local authorities as to who had jurisdiction over the descendants of Ernest Hemingway's mutant six-toed cat.  (See Legal Battle Rages Over Future of Hemingway's Mutant Cats, July 19, 2007.)  I'm pleased to say it's back in the news.

An allegedly disgruntled former volunteer seems to have complained to the Department of Agriculture that the cats, which have roamed the grounds of Hemingway's former home for the past 40 years or so, were not being treated properly.  This caused the USDA to spring into action.  (Did they ever find that guy who mailed the anthrax?  Maybe I missed it.)  The USDA argued that the cats were "on exhibit" and so needed the protection of federal laws that apply to zoos and circuses.  Attorneys for the Hemingway Home and Museum attorneys have said the cats are just fine and that they are local cats, not a federal concern.  "They're not sold, they're not transferred, they're not moved, they're not disrupted, they're not eaten," said Cara Higgins, representing the museum and in charge of listing things not being done to the cats.  "I can't imagine," she continued, "why the USDA, why the federal government, would have an interest in a handful of local cats."  Or the power to do anything about it, unless the cats are somehow involved in interstate commerce.  (It's a National Historic Landmark, but still.)

But the USDA wanted the cats rounded up and caged every night, said another HH&M representative, Mike Morawski, despite the fact that they have been free-range felines all their lives.  "Our vet," said Morawski, "who comes on the property weekly, thought [the caging would be] extremely traumatic for any of our cats, much less the cats that have lived on this property the last 10 to 15 years of their life."  More traumatic: being the intern whose job it is to round up 40 six-toed, 24-clawed cats every night and force them all into cages.

In July, the Feds were considering sending a cat inspector over there from the University of Florida to make sure everything was okay.  According to a recent CBS News report, the university's cat expert found that the animals were in fact "well cared for, healthy and content."  But according to the report, the battle continues.

CBS attempted to estimate how many federal tax dollars have been spent in the government's attempts to police cat conditions in Key West, but the USDA would not respond to its requests for information.  CBS was able to determine that the dispute, which has been pending in one way or another for five years, has involved at least 270 person-hours by three government lawyers, four inspectors, six veterinarians, and 14 field trips by one or more USDA personnel to Key West, during some of which the agents actually went undercover.  "They pose as tourists and get pictures and surreptitiously tape the cats," said Higgins.

Pictures and video of Hemingway Home & Museum and its cats are available by going to the museum's website, but you probably can get better shots undercover.

Has all this been a little silly? CBS asked Morawski.  "It's been a lot silly."

Link: CBS News
Link: The Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum

Drug Dealers Subject Buyer to Cookie Torture

Is it really "torture" if what you're being burned with are freshly baked cookies right out of the oven?

Well, obviously not, if you're John Yoo, since this seems unlikely to cause pain equivalent to that caused by organ failure or death, but assume for purposes of this question that you are not John Yoo.

Tough call -- I suppose it would hurt, but then you'd still have freshly baked cookies.

Link:  MSNBC.com

Judges in China Ordered Not to "Frolic," Hold Hands

Earlier this month, the highest court in China's Henan province issued a comprehensive set of regulations it said were intended to "improve judicial etiquette."  They are pretty exhaustive, to the point that one might wonder what the hell exactly has been going on in courtrooms in Henan.

Some are fairly straightforward, such as those requiring that lawyers and witnesses be treated with respect, or at least that they not be called "annoying."  As the latter rule suggests, the high court seems to be concerned about some very specific phrases, including "Are you the judge or am I?" and "You will certainly lose this case."

Also no longer approved for Henan judges:

• Heavy makeup
• Tattoos or painted nails
• Hair dye
• Long hair, shaven heads, beards
• Jewelry
• "Frolicking" (no definition provided)
• Holding hands with colleagues

These rules seem to apply to male and female judges alike, except that only male judges are barred from having long hair or beards.

According to the Beijing Times, undercover officers would be deployed to monitor court proceedings and ensure the rules were being followed.  Judges who break the rules will receive "criticism and education," which, like the concept of "frolicking," was not defined further.

Link: Reuters