Lowering the Bar

Deadline to Apply for Internship With Sen. Larry Craig is March 15

Remember, time is running out to apply for an internship in the office of Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho).  The deadline is March 15, 2008, or when Senator Craig resigns, whichever comes first.

"For those interested in politics," Craig writes on his official site, the internship position represents "an incredible opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at how our government functions."  Even if you are not particularly interested in government or politics, you may still have ample opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at something or other.

Among the senator's primary mission goals:

• To deliver "high quality constituent service,"
• To protect the nation "while guarding our personal freedoms,"
• To ensure access to adequate health care and spacious, private restroom facilities, and, most importantly,
• To "defend and strengthen the traditional values of the American family."

As you fill out the essay portion of the internship application, you should remember that the senator takes an especially wide stance on many of the issues above.

Link:  Official Website of U.S. Senator Larry Craig

Italian Supreme Court Further Limits Groping Rights of Italian Men

The New York Times reports today that the long-cherished right of Italian men to grope freely, already under siege, has been further limited by an Italian Supreme Court decision.  The ruling, which appears to have been issued recently although the NYT did not provide a date (or citation), affirmed a man's 2006 conviction on public-indecency charges; specifically, for "ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing."

The ruling thus rejected the defense lawyer's contention that his client simply "had a problem with his overalls."

It is not clear from the disappointingly brief NYT report what actually prompted the ostentatious self-gropery, though we know it wasn't defective overalls.  It seems to have been a response to some sort of sign believed to be bad luck, like a passing hearse, because the report says that the opinion "struck against a broader practice: a tradition among some Italian men of warding off bad luck by grabbing [one's own] crotch."

This, the court stated, "has to be regarded as an act contrary to public decency, a concept including that nexus of socio-ethical behavioral rules requiring everyone to abstain from conduct potentially offensive to collectively held feelings of decorum."  (I assume that sounds a lot better in the original Italian.)  As a result, Italian men will now either have to find another way to ward off bad luck, or do their warding in private.

In 2005, the Italian high court, which clearly chooses to intervene only in the most important issues of the day, upheld the assault conviction of a 40-year-old man who pinched a woman's buttocks as she used a public phone.  (Women who have visited Italy may be familiar with this charming custom, by which Italian men communicate that they would like to become better acquainted with you, or at least your buttocks.)  The man received a 14-month prison sentence (suspended) for the assault.  Italian newspapers called the result "severe," and the defendant said he had become disillusioned.  "I don't believe in justice anymore," he said.

It is unclear whether there are further cases in the pipeline that may further restrict the groping rights of Italian men.

Link: New York Times (on the self-groping decision)
Link: New York Times (on the 2005 decision)

Repeated Demands for Prostitute: Grounds for Termination?

I don't want to keep you in suspense: the answer is yes.

Riverside Casino and Golf Resort, located in Iowa, apparently gives its employees a special bonus to mark their first year of employment.  The bonus, at least in this case, was a gift certificate and a free night's stay at the casino's hotel.  A 62-year-old employee enjoying his bonus got into trouble after returning to his hotel room about midnight, and then calling the management (that is, his employers) to ask about hiring a prostitute.

Told that was not one of the services that the casino offered, even as part of the bonus, he called the competition, making the same request of the resort next door.  He must have identified himself in some way to them, because they called Riverside and asked what was going on.  As the report put it, hotel workers were then sent to the man's room "to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes."  According to the hotel's human resources director, the man answered the door in the nude.

It wasn't clear whether the hotel's human resources director was there at the time, but I like to think that he was.  If you are hoping to lose your job, answering the door naked when your human resources director knocks is probably one of the quicker ways to do that.  And, in fact, the employee was fired later that day.

This made the news recently because, after being fired, he filed a claim for unemployment benefits, which are typically not available if one has been fired for "misconduct."  At the hearing on the claim, the man argued that the casino had not been harmed by his actions, and that alcohol (a repeat offender) was to blame.  Double bonus points here for blaming the casino restaurant for forcing him to drink too much alcohol and then demand prostitutes.  As a result of the restaurant's actions, he noted, "I was absolutely plowed."

Also to blame: the casino itself, for its deceptive advertising.  "The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," he argued.  Come to find out, it's illegal there, too, sir (technically), but the bigger problem with the Las Vegas Defense -- which we have seen invoked before -- is that even if what happened in Las Vegas did have to stay in Las Vegas, you were in Iowa.

No benefits were awarded.

Link: CBS News

Junk-Mail Deliverer Sues After Mailbox Injury

"When I received a solicitor's letter," said Paul O'Brien of Leeds in Great Britain, "I thought someone was having a laugh."  This was because the letter explained that Mr. O'Brien was likely to be sued by a woman who had injured herself while putting junk mail through the slot in his front door.

The letter stated, "We understand that the circumstances of the accident are that our client was delivering a leaflet to your house when your letterbox snapped back on to her right index finger.  As a result of this, our client suffered from personal injury and loss."  The treacherous letterbox appears to have been what Americans would call a "mail slot" with a swinging door.  Joy Goodman claims that the tip of her right index finger was actually severed by the letterbox door, and that consequently she can no longer work as a cake decorator.

"I just cannot believe," O'Brien said, that "someone who came on to my property uninvited, to put junk mail through my door that I didn't want, can now sue me because she hurt herself."  The letter apparently did not claim that O'Brien had somehow been negligent or that the letterbox was defective in any way.

"I asked the Royal Mail if they had had any problems with it," O'Brien said.  "They said they hadn't and that in any case their staff are trained to make sure they don't get hurt while delivering."  The report did not provide details about what training Royal Mailmen might need to avoid losing a finger when poking a letter through a slot, but the Cake Decorators and Junk Mail Deliverers' Union may want to look into that.

The letter did not make a specific claim for damages, and Goodman declined to comment, saying that the matter "is in the hands of my solicitors."  Maybe that's the problem, O'Brien said.  "It seems like we're becoming more and more like America," he complained.  "Everyone wants compensation."

Link: Daily Mail, Feb. 21, 2008