January 2009

Tax Returns Are Hard, Says Federal Reserve Bank President

According to a spokesman, the mistake Timothy Geithner made on his tax returns is a common one, and since he's corrected it and paid the $34,000 he owed, the matter should be considered closed.  Our system is so complicated, said…


Inauguration Day Edition

Good news for Obama supporters — Myanmar's "top astrologer" is predicting not only that Obama will be elected to a second term, but also that he will not be killed during either one. "Obama will definitely be re-elected again," said…


Aquarium Stocked With Stolen Sea Creatures

A 30-year-old New York man is being charged with grand and petit larceny for crimes he committed during the last two months.  The grand larceny charge is for stealing a shark and the petit larceny is for swiping a moray…


Cranky Ball-Snatcher Sues for Emotional Distress

Last October in Cincinnati, an 89-year-old woman who was sick of kids' toys ending up in her yard was arrested after she confiscated a stray football.  According to Edna Jester — and if I was going to make up a…



Restraining Order Entered After Christmas Wii Assault

A New Hampshire judge refused Monday to lift an order that requires Randi Young, 24, and Heath Blom, 26, to stay away from each other.  Both were arrested on Christmas Day after a Nintendo-Wii-related incident that allegedly turned violent. According to police, Young…


Doping Scandal Strikes Sport of Kings, Dorks

You can now add one to the list of sports tainted by scandal over the possible use of banned substances.  If you think chess is a sport, anyway. The possibility of "doping" by international chess athletes got some publicity recently…




Bay Area Docket (Jan. 6, 2009)

A new case filed this week in SF Superior Court.  I feel a little guilty about finding this hilarious, but I do: Thomas [redacted]., a minor, by his guardian ad litem v. Napa Valley Wine Country Tours; Shayne One; Richard Hoffmann;…