Assorted Stupidity #6

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  • Resolved: the sentence "My dad paid cash for my Toyota Corolla and I am too rich to go to jail" is internally inconsistent. Discuss. Please note that the question whether uttering this sentence will keep you from getting arrested has already been determined.
  • Is running a foreclosure mill profitable? Let's see — one lawyer whose firm handled 70,000 of them in 2009 alone reportedly owns a $15 million, 16,000-square-foot mansion, recently bought the mansion next door for $8 million in order to tear it down for a tennis court, owns four Ferraris, four Porsches, two Benzes, and a $1 million Bugatti, so you decide. Oh, it might also have been illegal, so factor in that possibility. On the other hand, the guy's 130-foot, $20 million yacht is named "Misunderstood," so maybe there is more to the story.
  • Say, does anyone know whether it's legal to own a gorilla in Missouri? Because according to this report, one got loose in Kansas City today and roamed about the neighborhood for a while. It smashed the windshield of a responding police car, but (showing admirable restraint) the officers retreated and called animal control. They hit the ape with a tranquilizer dart, and he then crawled down out of a tree and got back in his cage. I ask the question because it's not answered in the report, which does not seem to think a gorilla loose in Kansas City is remarkable in any way.