Assorted Stupidity #7

LTB default 777x437
  • When I suggested the other day that Charlie Sheen should consider the Tourette's defense, I didn't have all the facts. So unless there is some evidence that Tourette's syndrome could cause someone to do cocaine, bring a porn star to the hotel where his family is staying, freak out and start throwing furniture around the room and then strip naked when police arrive, he might want to keep looking.
  • Legal Blog Watch reports that two lawyers who have each been using the slogan "I'll Make Them Pay" are now suing each other, each hoping to make the other one pay for using "I'll Make Them Pay." The one who loses should have to change his slogan to "Subject to Certain Exceptions of Limited Applicability, I Normally Make Them Pay."
  • Federal prosecutors in Kansas City have charged Brother Jerry Love with running a fraudulent tax-refund scheme. Brother Jerry, whose real name is the less heavenly "Gerald Poynter II," apparently "helped" people make millions in outrageous refund claims and kept a 15-percent fee. Poynter also did business as, among others, "Heartland Investment Group," "Blackbelt Tax Services," "Luckytown," "Jerry Love Ministries," and "The Dojo."
  • The Rand Paul campaign worker who stomped on a woman's head has asked for an apology from the stompee. Video showed Tim Profitt stomping on the woman, a MoveOn activist, while she was being restrained by others. Profitt claimed that the woman had started the fight, and that he only put his foot on her head because he has back problems that keep him from bending over.
  • Sports excuses are still getting the job done when it comes to getting continuances. In a recent "emergency motion," a Dallas lawyer argued that he had to be in San Francisco for "Very Important Baseball Matters," namely Game 1 of the World Series. The judge granted the motion. (Another Rangers fan said he quit his contract lawyer job so that he could watch the Series on TV.) A similar motion last year, based on the Saints being in the Super Bowl, was also granted.