Quaids: Lohan, Spears, Gibson Also in Danger From Star Whackers

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Randy and Evi Quaid appeared on "Good Morning America" on Monday to discuss their allegations that they and other celebrities are being victimized by a shadowy group of embezzlers, assassins, or possibly embezzling assassins, who they refer to as the "Star Whackers."

It generally is not a good sign if you find yourself on national television having to insist that, contrary to rumors based on your prior public statements, you are not mentally ill or on drugs. The Quaids said both of those things on GMA, and also insisted they are not "faking it." The whole thing is strange enough that it does smell a lot like the recent Joaquin Phoenix nonsense, now admitted to be a hoax, but as far as I know he didn't commit any crimes as part of that stupidity. The Quaids have allegedly committed several minor ones, and are due back in a California court today for one of them, but it seems unlikely they will return from their self-imposed Canadian exile for that.

In the interview, Evi describes the couple as "refugees" (specifically, "Hollywood refugees"), and both again stated their belief that they are being pursued by the Star Whackers, who they would identify only as "businessmen," although Evi did say at one point that it might be the Mafia. "They follow us, they tail us, they tag our cell phone, they hack our computer," Randy lamented, although again it is worth asking why the super-Mafia business assassins who control their lives and track them though cyberspace can be defeated just by moving to Canada.

Evi, who comes across as the leader of this two-person cult, also took the opportunity to criticize Randy's brother, Dennis. Randy said he was concerned his brother might also be at risk, to which Evi chimed in that "Dennis is now on a treadmill of making movies that are garbage." (What, you didn't like "Pandorum"?)

The Quaids are also deeply concerned about other celebrities (except maybe for Dennis), and when asked to name those at risk they mentioned Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and, more surprisingly, Mel Gibson. Gibson is not responsible for his recent actions, Evi said, because the Star Whackers have been drugging him. "I think they slipped him a mickey," she said. How many times?