Assorted Stupidity #10

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  • "I miss having a dog," said Michael Vick, who used to help drown the ones that weren't good enough at killing other dogs. Uh, how about no?
  • If you don't like your firm's dress code, be glad you don't work for the Union Bank of Switzerland, which has now promulgated a dress code that is 43 pages long. The comprehensive guide not only addresses matters like skirt length and fragrances, it bans wearing more than seven jewels at a time or underwear that doesn't match your skin tone. Men are required to select tie knots that match the "morphology of the face," whatever the hell that means.
  • Mark Zuckerberg was chosen as Time's Person of the Year. Seriously. And for this year. Runner-up: the "Tea Party," which is not a person. Third place: Julian Assange of Wikileaks. Assange apparently won the vote among the actual readers of Time magazine, but a Time representative said they discounted that because Lady Gaga came in second.
  • "Google Pays Boring Family $1," is one of today's better headlines. Aaron and Christine Boring ended up winning one dollar from Google for their claims that it had trespassed by taking a picture of the Boring home for Street View. "This is one sweet dollar of vindication," the Boring family said in a statement. They will be paying more sweet dollars than that in attorneys' fees, though.
  • Finally, let the record reflect that uttering the phrase "Say hello to Mr. Bobo" may eventually result in you being greeted with a public reprimand. At least if Mr. Bobo actually makes an appearance.