The goat-stabber told police he was "high on bath salts," and it was news to me that people are now getting high on bath salts, but I guess they are. "The psychosis is impressive," said a Louisiana official. He said one user vowed to remove his own liver with a mechanical pencil, which is impressive but totally inefficient. Bath salts are legal almost everywhere, I guess because they can also be used as bath salts, or at least they could until some genius thought, "hey, I could snort that." [Update: apparently these aren't actual bath salts, just some nasty stuff being sold as "bath salts." I don't know what would happen if you did salt your bath with them, but probably something nasty.]
One of the states that has banned "bath salts" is Florida, which for once is ahead of the curve on something. Maybe it's catching up overall, because on Wednesday it finally banned bestiality. As I mentioned previously, the Florida House has voted against such a ban twice before, but the third time seems to have been the charm. The governor is expected to sign the bill.
In another Florida legislative update, SB 228, which the sponsor calls the "Pull Your Pants Up Legislation" but seems to be commonly known as the "Droopy Drawers Bill," also passed on Wednesday. The vote was 101-15, following a unanimous vote in the Senate.
A reader responded to "The Case of the Dangerous Dachshund" by wondering whether freezers should have to carry a label warning consumers about "their unseen dangers when being run into," or whether store owners need to have all customers sign a waiver "acknowledging the danger of being out in public." All I can say is, please don't give California any more ideas.
Finally, speaking of good ideas, this week an Ohio man stood on the tracks in front of a moving train and forced it to stop so he could moon it. Police said the train made an emergency stop just five feet from the man's buttocks. In Spain, this sort of bravery is celebrated, but here, the guy just gets arrested.
