- "I am doing this to show my parents that I can make it on my own," said a 21-year-old Washington man, explaining to detectives why he had forged a pair of stolen checks. I've thought about this, and I think the only explanation is that his parents are professional forgers.
- Is there a First Amendment right to describe your English teacher as "tall, blond, and stacked"? We may find out, now that a student at Oakland University in Michigan has been suspended for three semesters for doing that in a journal he was assigned to keep. The teacher said she felt unsafe, and the school called it a "student-conduct" issue, but no actual conduct other than speech seems to be involved. "The university has no leg to stand on," said a free-speech group supporting the student. "It's not against the law to be perceived as creepy."
- Turns out Titanic was based on the life of Princess Samantha Kennedy, according to a lawsuit filed last week in California by Princess Samantha Kennedy. Kennedy, who says her mother told her she is related to the queen of England, wants all copies of the movie destroyed and all of its profits awarded to her. As for why she is just now bringing this up, she says "I have not been in a movie theatre since 1995 and [only] recently discovered the infringement." Kennedy says she will present the court with "hundreds of pages of side by side comparisons" proving infringement, which I'm sure the court is eager to get a look at.
- Q: When does everyone wish that a thief had stolen more than he did? A: When it was a naked 300-pound thief who only stole socks.
- Finally, after yesterday's post on the Salahi case, it was brought to my attention that Mr. Salahi's lawsuit followed the release of a new Journey music video in which Mrs. Salahi and her new boyfriend, guitarist Neal Schon, apparently stroll on the beach and roll around in the surf together. I dislike everyone involved too much to actually watch the video, so I'm going to just pretend that at the end of it, they are washed out to sea and are never heard from again.
