Hipster Infestation Not “Emergency,” Say Police

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I think we can all agree this is a serious problem, but it can only be addressed over time, by carefully cultivating the support of the general population. An occasional show of force may be useful for deterrence, and it would certainly be satisfying, but violence is not a long-term solution.

It sounds like the cops were actually pretty understanding and were willing to forgive the guy a few 911 calls to report that hipsters were infiltrating his neighborhood in Williamsburg, New York (although now I see that "a few calls" in this case was 401), but he finally went too far by making two false reports of gang violence. (And at this point, someone apparently recognizes his voice.) The man was arrested after the 403rd call in the past two years.

If the picture that accompanies the report is real, I would at least consider calling in an airstrike. At least on the pants.

Final note: they mean "hipster hordes," not "hipster hoards." Very different things.