O.J. Simpson Actually Not Guilty of Something

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FROM:   Kevin Underhill

TO:       Public Information Officer
            Nevada Dept. of Corrections

RE:        Simpson

To whom it may concern:

Not the most important query you'll get this week, but can you confirm or deny the recent reports that O.J. Simpson was recently caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria?


Thanks for your time—

Kevin Underhill

FROM: Public Information Officer
           Nevada Dept. of Corrections

TO:     Kevin Underhill

RE:      Re: Simpson

Mr. Underhill:  

There is no validity to the reports that inmate Simpson was caught stealing cookies.

Public Information Officer
Nevada Dept. Of Corrections

As you were.