Lots of great suggestions for the caption contest, but I'm going to go with this one:
Congratulations to Michael Winters, to whom I will be sending a free book if he still wants one and will email me his address.
Should the winner be unable to perform his duties, not that they are all that complicated, as noted above, the runners-up will be notified and may then choose to claim the book with said notification to occur in the following order:
- "I am tired of having to explain everything to you clowns over and over again." [Don Davis]
- "The use of 3D printing in police sketch artistry remains in its infancy." [Michael Kimmitt]
- "We've heard your complaints about police brutality. That's why we're bringing in Mr. Giggles as the new Chief of Police." [Michael Dark]
- "Wichita police demonstrate new, less intimidating SWAT loadout amid growing civil rights concerns." [Matt Luther]
- "Police chief arrives prepared to deal with media circus." [Joshua Ford]
- "And now, Droppo will describe the importance of disguise when working undercover for the narcotics division." [Melvin Krehbiel]
- "Wichita's latest scared-straight program targets eight-year-olds." [Adam Badik]
- "Another round of applause, please, for our guest of honor, Governor Brownback." [Larry Schumaker] [representative of several Brownback-related entries]
- "Captain Johnson explains how the director of the TSA has been instrumental in training the police force to disarm suspects wielding water bottles." [Curtis Perry] [representative of several TSA-related entries]
and simply ....
- "Homeland Security" [Jason Stanford]
There were others I really liked, especially the absurdist ones, but not all are reproduced here. Thanks to everybody who entered.