Lowering the Bar

Pants Judge Notified He May Not Be Reappointed

The Washington Post reported on Wednesday that, after due deliberation and a thorough and thoughtful consideration of all the evidence, a D.C. judicial commission seems to have finally reached the painfully obvious conclusion that Roy L. Pearson, he of the 65-million-dollar pants, should not be reappointed to be an administrative-law judge.

Unfortunately for the people of D.C., however, it looks like the firing process will still drag on for quite some time.  After many weeks of consideration, the members of the Commission on Selection and Tenure of Administrative Law Judges has finally reached a consensus -- to send Pearson a letter.  The vote was not to fire Pearson but to "formally notify" him "that he may not be reappointed to the bench."  Does anyone really need formal notice by now that this is a possibility?  If Pearson does, that is probably just another reason not to reappoint him.

The letter, described as a "key step" in the process, apparently cites not only Pearson's lawsuit against his arch-enemy, Custom Cleaners, but unspecified facts about "his work as a judge the past two years."  In addition to judicial acts, the letter also cites Pearson's sending of certain e-mails questioning the competence and integrity of one Tyrone T. Butler.  This is considered significant since Mr. Butler happens to be the Chief Administrative Law Judge for the District (and also a member of the commission considering Pearson's fate).

Generally, business experts do not recommend direct personal attacks against one's boss, especially when you are new to the job.  But Roy L. Pearson marches to the beat of a different drum.  Butler reportedly has had trouble deciding what position to take on the matter, which is strange given Pearson's long-standing campaign against him.  Less than three months after starting work, Pearson fired off a 14-page letter to the mayor accusing Butler among other things of "demonstrably poor judgment," which seems awfully ironic now.  He also described Butler's leadership as "Mafioso-style."  A 33-page letter followed in February 2006.  All this apparently started because of a minor misunderstanding over when Pearson's initial two-year term began, which suggests demonstrably poor judgment on someone's part.

Pearson now has 15 days to file a rebuttal to the letter, and can appear before the commission at its next meeting, in September, if he likes.  In the meantime, the commission has also said that it is carefully reviewing an number of other applications.

Link: Washingtonpost.com

Robbery Tip #147: Don't Leave Your Gun on the Counter

Consider using only one hand to stuff the cash into your pockets.  The robbery will take a little longer, but if the alternative is setting your gun down on the counter, it's worth the extra time.

As the surveillance video of the incident shows, some convenience-store clerks may be so rude as to grab the gun and turn it around to point at you.  This is a severe breach of robbery etiquette, but should it happen your only options are probably surrender or flight.  The worst choice is probably what this gentleman did, which was to first flee, then rush back into the store to try to take the gun back from the now-heavily-armed victim.  Not only are you unlikely to get the gun back, the commotion may give someone time to write down your license-plate number.

Neither man was injured during the incident.  The robber was tracked down in a nearby apartment and arrested.

Link: CBS News

Russian Olympic Athlete "Smiling All the Time" After Murder Conviction

This blog might be said to gripe about the U.S. legal system and those involved in it, and the situation in this country sometimes does look pretty awful -- except by comparison to most of the rest of the world.  A story this week from Russia was a reminder, I think, that having a scandal about a lawsuit over a judge's missing pants is something that other countries can only dream of.

Alexander Tikhonov, a 60-year-old former Olympic athlete who won four gold medals in the biathlon (shooting and skiing), was found guilty last month of conspiring to murder the governor of a Siberian province.  On Wednesday, Reuters reported that not only was Tikhonov not going to jail, his life has continued normally.  "Nothing has changed at all," he told a news conference.  "I'm working as usual and don't have any problems [such as being in jail for the attempted murder of which I was convicted]."  The 13-time world champion and one-time convicted murder-for-hire guy continued, "I am smiling all the time."  According to the report, he then grinned.

After his conviction, Tikhonov was actually sentenced to three years in prison, which seems a little light to begin with, but then was immediately given amnesty "to celebrate the 55th anniversary of the defeat of Nazi Germany."  Seems like a good reason to celebrate, even if that particular anniversary was seven years ago.  (I think this also explains what happened with Scooter Libby.)

In fact, Tikhonov was only back in Russia at all because he was feeling better after an extended stay in Europe that began shortly after his arrest.  After the conspirators were arrested in 2000, the report said, "Tikhonov left custody after a month because he said he felt unwell."  (I think this also explains what happened with Paris Hilton.)  After "leaving custody," he departed for Europe to see a "specialist," and did not return for several years.

His brother, who does not appear to have been a popular athlete, has served four years in prison for the same crime.

Link: Reuters via Yahoo! News

Architect Pursues Rival Beyond the Grave

According to a report on Monday, a Pennsylvania architect challenging the license of a rival architect recently appealed his case to the state's highest court.  This means Mark Altman is still trying to get Michael Molnar's license revoked even though Molnar is not likely to be doing any more architecting, given that he died in May.

Neither report I found on this case explained exactly how this dispute got started.  Molnar seems to have worked briefly for Altman's father decades ago, becoming licensed here in 1960 after fleeing the Soviet invasion of Hungary.  He said he had studied architecture in his home country but had been unfairly denied a license by the communist regime.  The state examiner accepted his testimony, and Molnar got a license and then practiced without incident for 46 years.

But at some point Mark Altman, still suspicious, and really pissed about something, followed Molnar's trail to Budapest and found that the college there had no records of him.  He challenged Molnar's license, but it appears that the state board again accepted Molnar's testimony that he had earned his degree and that the Communists had lost the records.  That was affirmed on appeal.

Altman's counsel (his brother Gary) said that their family still believed that Molnar had lied, and was stunned by the result.  He said, "You mean, if I'm a brain surgeon for 50 years, and after all these years they learn I'm an auto mechanic, I still can keep operating?  That's fascinating to me."  Well, if an auto mechanic has successfully done brain surgery for 50 years, then yes, I think I might rather have him working on me as opposed to some brand-new guy who happens to have a license.  I might ask him what the jumper cables were for, but I'd be prepared to listen.  Oh, also, Mr. Molnar can't keep operating now because he's DEAD.

And, again, neither report I found explained exactly why the Altmans were still going after Molnar's license now that he is an ex-architect.  No one else seemed to know, either.  "If the goal of the litigation is to stop Mike Molnar from practicing architecture, the good Lord has done that," a local attorney was quoted as saying.

Largely for that reason, the attorney for Molnar's estate has filed a motion to dismiss the appeal as moot.  "Petitioner is, it seems, motivated by some unexplained quest for revenge that he simply cannot end," wrote Robert Hoffman.  He called  Altman "heartless" for suggesting that, if Molnar's license wasn't valid in the first place, the estate should give back all the fees he ever collected, which would likely be unpleasant for Molnar's widow.  Hoffman compared the complaint to "Inspector Javert's hunting of Jean Valjean in Victor Hugo's 'Les Miserables,'" which, translated, seems to be something like how Magneto won't leave the X-Men alone.

Link: CBS News
Link: Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

New Rules Will Require Chinese Buddhists to Apply for Reincarnation

Over the weekend, China's state-run media outlets reported that new rules taking effect this fall will require Tibetan Buddhists to get government permission to be reincarnated.  According to the Xinhua news agency ("Xinhua" is Mandarin for "If I don't read this, I will be shot"), the new rules are "an important move to institutionalize the management of reincarnation of living Buddhas."

That rumbling sound is George Orwell spinning in his grave, preparing to tunnel to Beijing in order to go all "Resident Evil" on the Chinese Politburo.  (With any luck, zombie George Orwell will have a few more stops to make after that.)

The new rules will require "reincarnation applications" to be filed with and approved by state religious-affairs officials.  These rules apparently apply at least to those claiming to be "living Buddhas," influential religious figures who are believed to be continuously reincarnated in order to fill the same position over and over again, sort of like the members of the committee that runs your law firm.  I assume the Dalai Lama is the most prominent of these, although the report discussed only the Panchen Lama, the #2 Lama in Tibetan Buddhism.

The Panchen Lama seems to have most recently shown up in the early 1990s, in the form of a six-year-old boy, but was quickly arrested by the Chinese government, which seems awfully unfair given that there was no application requirement at the time.  The government then "found" its own Panchen Lama, who according to the report has been "paraded around" in recent years to promote Chinese rule over Tibet.  As this suggests, there are sometimes competing "candidates" claiming to be the reincarnation of a particular person, and the government is trying to set itself up as the official reincarnation authority.

The new rules take effect on September 1.  Those planning to be reincarnated as living Buddhas in the near future are advised to complete that process as quickly as possible.

Link: AFP via Yahoo! News

Maine Dentist Suspended for "Practice Run Amok"

Still reeling from the recent tusk-installation scandal, American dentistry was rocked again this weekend by revelations that a dentist in Waterville, Maine, had been suspended from practice for six months because of wild office parties and "terrifying" safety violations.  A Maine newspaper reported Sunday that Dr. Denise Nadeau had been suspended by the state's Board of Dental Examiners (which I'm sure has thrown some wild parties in its day) beginning in March.  The newspaper obtained the investigator's report and is apparently releasing the information now because the suspension is up in September, and she wants to resume practicing.

After three days of hearings, including testimony from former patients and employees, the board suspended Nadeau for six months, with five years of probation.  It found that the office atmosphere started to get odd after a 2006 after-hours party that featured rum and tequila being poured on "various body parts."  (The dentist claimed she was not in the room for that but the board found her testimony "incredible.")  It also noted that she had treated some patients while dressed as a belly-dancer, showed various nude pictures around the office, and allowed her office manager to sell "sexual aids" over the phone.

There was also evidence of misconduct.  A dental assistant described safety conditions in the office as "terrifying," and a patient testified about a botched operation in which the wrong tooth was pulled.  She told the board that she thought her "face was going to explode," although since she apparently got 14 shots of anesthetic during the five-hour procedure, it is hard to see how she could feel her face at all.  Ultimately, the board found Nadeau was not competent to continue practicing in her then-current state, having violated a number of board standards including those precluding drug use, or at least I'm inferring that from the board's language saying that the dentist "used a controlled substance for purposes other than dentistry."  She may be able to resume practicing later this year if she can meet various conditions set forth by the board.

Nadeau's attorney has said his client has no past history of disciplinary problems, that she was under a great deal of stress at the time of the activities in question, and that he is planning an appeal of the board's findings.

Link: Kennebec (Maine) Journal and Morning Sentinel

Marilyn Manson Sued by Former Bandmate

On Thursday, a former member of Marilyn Manson's band sued him, claiming that Manson (whose real name is the slightly more mundane "Brian Warner") misled him as to how much money the band was making, and instead went on a multi-million-dollar spending binge.  In the lawsuit, Stephen Bier (whose stage name was the much less mundane "Madonna Wayne Gacy") demands about $20 million in damages.

Bier apparently alleges that he became suspicious that he was not seeing all of the profits he was entitled to when he noticed some of the things that Manson was buying.  These allegedly included:

• A $2 million home;
• An art gallery (for his own work);
• A $450,000 engagement ring for his stripper girlfriend;
• African masks made of human skin;
• The skeleton of a "17th-century male" in a wheelchair;
• The skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl; and
• Eva Braun's handbag.

Well, these days a $2 million home is not that outrageous, at least in California, and who doesn't have at least a couple of masks made out of human skin, but owning anything  that once belonged to Hitler's girlfriend really is over the top.

Bier basically alleges that Marilyn Manson violated the fiduciary duty he owed the other band members under a partnership agreement they signed in 1993.  (I was hoping to take credit for the first use of the terms "Marilyn Manson" and "fiduciary duty" in the same sentence, but Google actually turned up a few prior examples.)  Manson denied the charges last week in an interview on MTV News (which seems strange -- I assumed he would show up on "The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer"), and said he would fight.

"The fact that [Madonna Wayne Gacy]'s claiming that I've treated him unfairly financially is really ridiculous," Manson said.  He also said he "would never spend [his] money on a Chinese girl skeleton.  That would be crossing the line."

"It's a Chinese boy," he clarified.

Link: Yahoo! News

Internet Flame War Ends in Burning Trailer, Prison Time

Russell Tavares was sentenced on Monday to seven years in prison after he pleaded guilty to felony arson for setting fire to a man's trailer home in 2005.  Tavares had become angry after the man called him a "nerd" on a website that the two frequented, so angry that he left his Virginia workplace, drove 1,300 miles to Waco, Texas, and burned the man's trailer to the ground.

Tavares, scarily enough, was a 25-year-old weapons systems operator at the Navy's AEGIS Training and Readiness Center in Dahlgren, Virginia.  Police say he was also "obsessed with fire, guns and knives," none of which are particularly good things to be obsessed with, and would post pictures of himself online (under the name "Pyrodice")pointing firearms at various people and things.  The victim, 59-year-old John Anderson, also posted digitally altered photos when he could spare time from his day job, running the Museum of Horrors haunted-house attraction in Elm Mott, Texas.  (According to Anderson's website, he runs two haunted houses in that location, both utterly terrifying.  Also there's a DJ every night.)  He called himself "Johnny Darkness."

So, truly a clash of titans.  Their lives apparently intersected on orfay.com, a site where people post pictures and chat or something to that effect.  Anderson said his page became the most popular there, and drew many comments including not a few insults.  He would "say bad things back to them" as appropriate.  "It was like, 'Your mother wears combat boots,'" Anderson said, although it was unclear whether he had actually met the mothers of anyone who contacted him.  As fate would have it, Tavares got involved.  Anderson said he made fun of Tavares' own picture, calling him a "white Steve Urkel," and ultimately posted the picture with "Revenge of the Nerds" appearing at the top.  This seems to have been the last straw.

Apparently oblivious to the irony of going after someone for being called a "nerd" in an Internet flame war, Tavares took a leave of absence from work and started driving.  (He seems to have found Anderson's address via the haunted-house website.)  To build suspense, he took a picture of himself at the border of each state he passed through and posted it on the website.  "Here I come, Haunted House Man," the pictures seemed to say, although they didn't really say anything at all, since they were just pictures.  Thirteen hundred miles later, Tavares was in Waco.

Revenge of the (Alleged) Nerd
(border crossings also marked)

His attorney claimed later that Tavares was really driving to Arizona to see his family and made a last-minute decision to go get Anderson.  That is possible, given the route, but however he got there, Tavares admitted he had intended to scare Anderson with a shotgun and then shoot his computer.  Only when the computer had paid in full for its crimes could he rest, it seems.  But he chose instead to set a fire near Anderson's propane tank before fleeing.  No one was injured, but according to the report, "the trailer, located behind the haunted house, was a total loss."  Tavares was later arrested in Arizona.

He pleaded "no contest" and was sentenced on Monday.  Officials said that Tavares showed no remorse and still had not let the feud go, which they inferred from the fact that he was taking cell-phone pictures of Anderson in the courtroom while waiting for his sentencing hearing.  Tavares blamed his own computer, too, apparently saying "if it wasn't for the computer, this wouldn't have happened."  I guess he may have been referring to Anderson's computer, which he had planned to kill, or maybe the two computers conspired against him.  Neither machine was indicted.

An investigator noted that the case was sad because Tavares had now ruined his entire career.  "He is a very smart person with fire," the investigator said.  "He knows his stuff."  Sure does, and it's too bad he has ruined such a promising fire-starting career after only one attempt (which was 100% successful).  As for Anderson, he will try to rebuild, but says he is still being harassed by someone -- or something?  "Before this happened," Anderson said, "the rule was: Nobody messes with the haunted house guy."  He did not say why that was the rule.  He'd better hope it is the rule again about seven years from now.

Link: Waco Tribune-Herald
Link: Toronto Globe & Mail

Law School Documentary to Tell Story of Oklahoma Students

The Wall Street Journal's Law Blog reports today on a documentary called "The Trials of Law School" that has recently been completed and will be released later this year.  The film follows eight students at the University of Oklahoma as they enjoy all the delights that law school has to offer.

The film was made by Porter Heath Morgan IV, who was a student at Oklahoma's law school when he shot the footage but who apparently went to law school for the purpose of making the film.  Morgan told the WSJ that he wanted to get a law degree to stand out from other filmmakers when marketing his film to producers, and "naively thought it wasn't going to be that hard."  That's what I thought after I went to film school hoping to later stand out from other potential associates when marketing myself to law firms.  Turns out they don't just hand over the degree.  They really ought to tell you that on their website.

The film will be screened this fall for incoming law students at various schools (where it may have a sort of "Blair Witch Project" effect), and has been entered in a Dallas film festival.  If it does well there, who knows?  For now, though, it's going straight to DVD, where it may ultimately appear in the same rack with my planned production of the film version of "Law School Musical."  I think it will be a big hit.

The WSJ post has a link to the trailer for the film.

Link: WSJ Law Blog
Link: The Trials of Law School (official site)

"Schnitzel Stephan" Convicted on Multiple Dine-and-Dash Charges

A German man who repeatedly fled from restaurants rather than pay his bills was sentenced today to 18 months in jail after being convicted on 64 counts of meal-related fraud.  The man, a 350-pound unemployed truck driver, has been nicknamed "Schnitzel Stephan" for his habit of ordering a big meal of Viennese schnitzel along with numerous beers, before ultimately running out on the check each time.

How a 350-pound man who recently filled up on schnitzel and beer was able to run anywhere, let alone get away no fewer than 64 times, is not at all clear.  I have a vision of a very slow-motion getaway featuring a titanic schnitzel-filled German lumbering unstoppably down the street with three or four waiters clinging to him.

Stephan apparently was already on probation for an undisclosed number of previous unpaid eating binges when he began his latest spree.  The total value of what he consumed with regard to the 64 charged offenses was said to be about $4100.

Link: Reuters via Yahoo! News