Here are just a few of the people who were not fooling anyone this week:
- Jean Marc Viau, an Edmonton man who claimed an officer beat him up after a traffic stop, when asked in court if he had been driving a stolen vehicle: "I took it without permission . . . but I don't know if the owner [had] declared it stolen at that point." Well played, sir.
- Dina Lohan, on why Lindsay's court-ordered alcohol-detecting bracelet went off this week: "She was at the MTV [Movie] Awards and somebody spilled a drink on her leg, which must have set off the SCRAM bracelet." Madam, I accept your explanation, for I can think of no other.
- BP, which said in a statement on Thursday that it was "not aware of any reason" why the company's stock price might have dropped 16% recently. Hm. That is a puzzler. What could -- oh! You destroyed the Gulf of Mexico.
- Finally, Rod Blagojevich.