Plaintiff Alleges He Caught Herman Cain With Kim Kardashian

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I really shouldn't encourage this guy, but as long as he's suing one or more Kardashians I can't feel too bad about it:

Jonathan Kimberly v. Kim Kardashian aka Kimberly Noel Kardashian; Herman Cain; Kourtney Kardashian, No. 5:12-cv-1811 (W.D. La. filed June 29, 2012)

Personal injury lawsuit. Plaintiff claims he saw Herman Cain making a sex tape with Kim Kardashian in the bathroom of a Pizza Hut in Shreveport and was attacked.

Paid download (from Courthouse News Network)

"Jonathan Kimberly" is almost certainly another alias of the now infamous Jonathan Lee Riches, who developed a taste for filing lawsuits while in prison and has continued to do so after being released. Just how many lawsuits he has filed is not entirely clear—it depends on the day, for one thing—but it's almost certainly in the hundreds.

This lawsuit has all the characteristics of Riches' previous work: it's short, written in all caps, names famous people as defendants, and walks the line between decent comedy and complete insanity. Here, the plaintiff claims he was at a Pizza Hut in Shreveport on June 24 when he allegedly walked in on "HERMAN CAIN MAKING A SEX TAPE WITH KIM KARDASHIAN IN THE MENS BATHROOM…." He also alleges that Kourtney Kardashian is already pregnant with a baby Cain, and that the Kardashians are blackmailing Cain to keep this a secret. Supposedly (and plaintiff doesn't say how he learned any of this), Cain is being forced to give them $9,999 a month as well as an unlimited number of Godfather's Pizza gift certificates.

Plaintiff also alleges, among other things, that the defendants assaulted him with bread sticks and that Kim Kardashian smashed him in the face with "A PAN PIZZA STRAIGHT OUT THE [O]VEN…." This is why he's seeking a restraining (or "RESTRANGING") order.

It's not his best work by any means (this one, for example, also filed under an alias, accused the Kardashians of being members of al Qaeda), but hey—it's gotten him a little more publicity. And again, I wouldn't encourage that normally, but he has at least as much right to be famous as the Kardashians do.