“Aggressive Pizza-Stealing Dog” Makes Bail

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Ruthlessly devoured helpless pie

A dog that was arrested in Oregon yesterday after being accused of "breaking into" a family's vehicle and aggressively "devouring" their pepperoni pizza has been released, according to an updated report today. Officials in Marion County said the suspect, identified as a 5-year-old Siberian Husky named "Eysak," was turned over to his owners later that afternoon.

According to the report, the victims had been grocery shopping and had picked up a cooked pepperoni pizza, among other things. After they returned home, one member of the family was unloading from the back when she heard barking from inside the car. The witness described seeing a stray dog in the back seat of the vehicle, reportedly "devouring" the aforementioned pizza "in an aggressive fashion." Attempts to rescue the pizza succeeded only in irritating its assailant. Police were called, and when they arrived, "the dog was still inside the car, eating the pizza and aggressively defending his food."

An animal-control officer was able to remove the dog, who was then incarcerated at the county dog prison.

A spokesman for the county sheriff's office, probably pleased to be answering questions about a dog arrest, said that the dog had been implanted with a microchip but that the chip did not identify the current owner. Still, the owners either came looking for their dog or were notified within a few hours after the incident.

Authorities believe the suspect may be a recidivist, as he was wearing a collar bearing the words "Don't Mess With My Food."