Get a Smell at These Emails

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This isn't strictly law-related, except that the point of these emails seem to be to drive traffic to some terrible law-related site. But I'm going to make an exception here.

If you write a blog you will, at some point, start to get spam (or at least I think it's all spam) asking whether you accept "guest posts." I don't, but if I did I would probably try to ensure that the guest poster knew something about the language in which I post (English). I would think others would do this as well, which is why it seems strange that so many of these spam emails purporting to be from guest writers are so badly written, and for multiple reasons are so very easy to spot.

I got two from the same source recently that are pretty great. This one came in yesterday:

On Mon, Apr 14, 2014 at 5:40 PM, christopher meloni <> wrote:


Hope you are doing well.

I am sure you get pitched for guest posts on a daily basis so I’ll keep this short. I am here to contribute in your blog ,Well, now I do. I stumbled upon an interesting topic which would be relevant for your blog . Would you be interested in a guest post contribution.

And if you need it, here is a sample of my writing:

[link to sample of equally bad writing omitted] 

I look forward to your reply and I can't wait to get started!

Lemme know what do you think ?


2014-04-15 at 10.10 AM

Here's what I would have said, if I had replied:


I am doing well, thanks. Thanks also for your offer to contribute in my blog, and for future reference let me tell you why I would turn you down even if I did accept guest posts.

First, I noticed that you signed yourself "Christopher Meloni" but your email address starts with "Vikash." The fact that these don't match is not a disqualifier but is a red flag. That flag is hoisted higher because like many Americans I have watched enough Law and Order: SVU to recognize that name. Granted, you are doing better at this than the spammer who identified himself as "Euphonious Q. Supertramp," but that isn't saying much.

Second, the use of a linked URL instead of the name of the blog is a dead giveaway.

Third, for one who claims to be an editor/writer, your editing/writing sucks.

Good luck,

Mariska Hargitay

But I didn't. So at first I was irked to get another Christophermelonigram this morning, but after I read it I was actually glad he sent it:

Hello Kevin,

Hope you are hale and hearty there.

I cognize you are holding a hectic schedule all day and it's so difficult to take out all the posts and reply them back.

I am urging you and trusting that you can manage to get a smell at my previous mail for guest post contribution.

Let me know your views.


2014-04-15 at 10.10 AM

 Thanks for the smell, Vikash!