Good Reason to Kill #52: Started Thanksgiving Early, and #53: Ate All the Leftovers

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Not the only victim this year

More than the turkey got carved in one household on Thanksgiving, according to multiple reports (thanks, everyone).

According to The Smoking Gun, for example, a 45-year-old gentleman in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, made the mistake of starting Thanksgiving dinner early this year, or at least he started eating in his girlfriend's absence. She was in the house at the time, but was "reportedly intoxicated and had gone upstairs to sleep." It's not clear how long he waited for her, if at all, before digging in, but it wasn't long enough. When she realized he had started without her, she grabbed a knife and started chasing him around the dinner table, and after several missed attempts she finally stabbed him in the chest.

She then concluded the performance—and it's a little surprising you don't see this more often at Thanksgiving—by throwing the knife at him. Although she hit him in the face, she must have hit him with the non-pointy end because no wound to the face was reported. He was treated for a non-life-threatening stab wound at a local hospital.

The Smoking Gun also links to a 2012 story about another holiday stabbing, although this one involved a young man who stabbed his mom's boyfriend after the latter ate the leftover turkey the former brought back from Thanksgiving at Grandma's house. He admitted to police that he had gotten angry "when Mr. Teer ate his turkey," and an apology plus more turkey failed to calm him down. In that case, it looks like the victim was stabbed or at least poked with a carving knife (it had a serrated edge but a forked tip), which adds extra Thanksgiving goodness to this item. In that case, too, we can give thanks that the wounds were not serious.

I hope you managed to survive your Thanksgiving and were able to keep the violence to a minimum.