Lots of great suggestions for the caption contest, but I'm going to go with this one:

"The Department is extremely grateful to this Bozo for
coming forward and identifying the 29 other people in his
vehicle at the time of the drive-by."

Congratulations to Michael Winters, to whom I will be sending a free book if he still wants one and will email me his address.

Runners-Up

Should the winner be unable to perform his duties, not that they are all that complicated, as noted above, the runners-up will be notified and may then choose to claim the book with said notification to occur in the following order:

• "I am tired of having to explain everything to you clowns over and over again." [Don Davis]
• "The use of 3D printing in police sketch artistry remains in its infancy." [Michael Kimmitt]
• "We've heard your complaints about police brutality. That's why we're bringing in Mr. Giggles as the new Chief of Police." [Michael Dark]

Honorable Mention(s)

• "Wichita police demonstrate new, less intimidating SWAT loadout amid growing civil rights concerns." [Matt Luther]
• "Police chief arrives prepared to deal with media circus." [Joshua Ford]
• "And now, Droppo will describe the importance of disguise when working undercover for the narcotics division." [Melvin Krehbiel]
• "Wichita's latest scared-straight program targets eight-year-olds." [Adam Badik]
• "Another round of applause, please, for our guest of honor, Governor Brownback." [Larry Schumaker] [representative of several Brownback-related entries]
• "Captain Johnson explains how the director of the TSA has been instrumental in training the police force to disarm suspects wielding water bottles." [Curtis Perry] [representative of several TSA-related entries]

and simply ….

• "Homeland Security" [Jason Stanford]

There were others I really liked, especially the absurdist ones, but not all are reproduced here. Thanks to everybody who entered.