So much stupidity, so little time. Here is some of it.

• After months of denying he was anywhere near the place his wife and son were killed, Alex Murdaugh decided to take the stand and admit he’d been lying about that (among other things). Probably felt he had no choice, given that his voice could be heard in a video taken there just before the murders. But nobody seems to think his testimony helped him, including, most importantly, the jurors. Might explain why it took only 45 minutes to convict in a case where the prosecution had no murder weapon and, so far as I can tell, no good theory of motive.

• Or maybe it was his profession? Murdaugh came off as a “big liar,” a juror said, partly because his answers seemed too quick and too rehearsed. “He knew what he wanted to say. I mean he is a lawyer,” the juror continued (emphasis added).

• Florida police reported on January 13 that they had arrested a 19-year-old man suspected of car theft. The arrest may or may not have been facilitated by the GPS bracelet he was wearing when he stole the car on January 7, while out on bail pending other charges. The report doesn’t say why it took almost a week to find a guy wearing a GPS bracelet.

• Also undeterred by GPS: at least one of the idiots who attacked the U.S. Capitol. White supremacist Bryan Betancur, who for some reason also goes by the goofy name “Maximo Clooney,” was already on probation for burglary when he showed up in DC wearing a GPS bracelet to go with his Confederate flag. He was arrested 11 days later, and the report doesn’t say why it took 11 days to find a guy wearing a GPS bracelet but the GPS proved he was inside the Capitol.

• Bonus points: Maximo Clooney reportedly told his parole officer that he was going to DC “to sell Bibles [for] Gideon International.” If he did that at all, he took time off to do some more crime.

• Too tired to drive? Pull over and take a nap in your car. If you’re worried about safety, you might want to park in front of a police station, if that “seem[s] like a safe place to rest.” But if you’re driving a stolen car that has drugs in it, maybe don’t park in the station’s handicapped spot? Up to you. (Also, FYI, there is reason to believe being around police is not all that safe.)

• I am informed that legislation is pending in Indiana that would make the breaded pork tenderloin the official state sandwich. SB 322 does specify that said sandwich must be “made from Indiana raised pork,” although there does not seem to be a penalty for trying to pass off some other pork as Indianan.