Assorted Stupidity #15

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  • The Speaker of the Florida House has chastised Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) for using the word "uterus" in a floor debate. Claiming Republicans are only opposed to regulation if it involves business, not social issues like abortion, Randolph suggested that a woman might be better off if she "incorporate[d] her uterus." A GOP spokeswoman said "the Speaker believes it is important … to be mindful of and respectful to visitors and guests, particularly the young pages and messengers," and that's why Randolph had been asked not to mention body parts again.
  • Upset by the name of San Francisco's "Tenderloin" district, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has called for it to be renamed the "Tempeh" district. "Tempeh" is apparently some sort of soy-based meat-substitute nonsense. A Tenderloin-based advocate said he told PETA the name didn't refer to meat, but rather was 19th-century slang for the bribes given to cops. "They were pleased to hear that," Randy Shaw said, but so far haven't withdrawn the request.
  • "[These laws] are destroying a way of life that has been in [sic] Montana for years and years," said Alan Hale, a Montana state representative. That way of life: drinking and driving. Calling bars the "center of [rural] communities," Hale complained that DUI laws were destroying those small businesses because they made it too difficult to get from home to bar and (especially) back. "I'll guarantee you there's only two ways to get there," Hale said. "Either you hitchhike, or you drive, and I promise you that they are not going to hitchhike." Coincidentally, Hale owns a bar.
  • At her sentencing last week, a California woman who had been convicted of forging prescriptions asked that the hearing be postponed because she was ill. She brought along a doctor's note, apparently thinking no one would question a doctor's note submitted by somebody convicted of forging prescriptions. They did, and yes, she had.