Cupcake Batterer Charged with Domestic Violence

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I'm concerned that this sort of thing will become rampant in Topeka now that misdemeanor domestic battery is legal there, although on second thought, it's really not something to be concerned about.

Although it is a waste of good cupcakes.

Artist's ImpressionThe Chicago Tribune reported that a woman there was arrested and charged with one misdemeanor count of domestic battery after her husband reported that she had furiously pelted him with cupcakes. According to the report, the fight started (as most do) with a "verbal quarrel" but then escalated to battery when the woman started hitting her husband over the head. Unsatisfied with that, she then "reached for the box of desserts and directed a fusillade of snack cakes at his head and body …." The victim was reportedly still "smudged with icing" when officers arrived.

He could have iced himself in order to blame it on the wife, of course, but police said she admitted to the cupcake-pelting. This meant they did not need to call in CSI to see if they could match the traces of icing on the victim to the suspect's weapon, although as we have seen in the past police have claimed to be able to match icing just based on their own experience (possibly extrapolating from donut frosting).

On Sunday morning, a Cook County judge set the woman's bond at $10,000, ordered electronic monitoring, and issued a restraining order requiring her to stay at least 100 feet away from a bakery at all times.