Pirate Captain Expected to Become N.C. State Class President

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By me, anyway. A candidate who will appear on the ballot only as “The Pirate Captain” is running for student body president at North Carolina State University. His platform includes expanding bus lines to “haul more cargo” and opening meetings to all “landlubbers.”

Other candidates were clearly unsure how to respond. One tried to take the high road, claiming that he thought it was “cool how [The Pirate Captain is] doing things, how he wants to get out and have his message heard.” But another sniffed that it was “ridiculous” that The Pirate Captain had participated in a debate dressed in pirate gear, and a third remarked that “Voting for someone who wants to rid the campus of ‘scurvy dogs’ is not really an effective way of having student government.” I’m not aware that there is an effective way of having student government, but I am sure that promising to rid the campus of scurvy dogs is an effective way of getting elected.