Geneva Convention Invoked to Save Grapefruit Tree

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Laura and Edmund Gerstein of Boca Raton (“Rat Mouth”), Florida, have made a formal claim of immunity under the 1949 Geneva Convention for a grapefruit tree in their backyard.

The tree apparently has been targeted by the state for removal under a program designed to stop the spread of something called “citrus canker,” which doesn’t sound very pleasant. But the Gersteins are fighting for their tree. They argue that the 1949 Convention contains a provision that protects crops needed for the survival of civilians during wartime, pointing out that, as the President has reminded us so many times, the nation is currently at war. Sort of.

“That tree will come down,” said a spokesman for the Florida Department of Agriculture, evidently unconcerned that the United Nations might get involved.