A Doughnut Drama in Three Acts

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Act One.
A small town in Oregon.  Two men in "cowboy garb," Adam and Vincent, are eating doughnuts.  Enter two sheriff’s deputies.

DEPUTY ONE:   A burglary has been reported.
DEPUTY TWO:  Yes, we must hurry to the scene of it.
VINCENT:         Doughnuts, officers?
Adam smirks, but says nothing.
DEPUTY ONE:   No thank you, cowboy.  We are on official police business.
VINCENT:         Suit yourself.

Act Two.
The burgled store.

DEPUTY ONE:   Shopkeeper, what has been stolen?
SHOPKEEPER:   A number of items, including, but not limited to,
                     cigarettes, candy, chewing gum, and doughnuts.
DEPUTY ONE:   Doughnuts, you say?
SHOPKEEPER:   Yes, doughnuts are among the items that were stolen.
                      Please, inspect my shop for clues.
DEPUTY ONE:   I observe here on the floor the prints of cowboy boots.
SHOPKEEPER:   I fear this crime may never be solved.
DEPUTY ONE:   There is hope, for a reason of which you are unaware.
DEPUTY TWO:  I did not appear in this scene.

Act Three.
A courtroom.

DISTRICT ATTORNEY:   The officers then put two and two together.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY:    My client, Your Honor, is unintelligent and was easily led.
ADAM:                         Also, I had been drinking whiskey.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY:    No, you are unintelligent and easily led.
JUDGE:                       You are also convicted.

Exeunt omnes.

Link: AP via FindLaw.com