- That I am lucky enough to not have to shop on "Black Friday." See, e.g., "Customers hit by pepper spray at Wal-Mart describe scene of chaos," Los Angeles Times (Nov. 25, 2011, 2:26 am) (describing a "pepper-spray attack by a woman who authorities said was 'competitive shopping,'" and customers screaming and trampling things during a riot over video games).
- Witnesses with a sense of humor, and, for different reasons, people who represent themselves. See "How did robber sound? 'He sounded like you,'" The Morning Call (Nov. 15, 2011) (noting that the victim/witness "also had the jury roaring with laughter when he took a drink directly from a large water carafe [and said] 'Sorry, I'm thirsty'").
- Judges who don't put up with bullshit. "Sometimes, only the courts of law stand to protect the taxpayer. Somewhere, someone has to stand up. Well, sometimes is now."
- Books, alcohol, and books containing alcohol.
- The Internet, which among its wonders now includes a searchable archive of Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society going back to 1665. "When the rain has wet the kite and twine, so that it can conduct the electric fire freely, you will find it stream out plentifully from the key on the approach of your knuckle." — B. Franklin (1752).
- "Approach it not with other, more tender parts." — B. Franklin's idiot friend (1752, ten minutes later).
- The commercial on TV just now that started out with the line, "Do You Require Oxygen?" Yes! Yes, I do. This must be a product in which I will be interested!
- The ACLU, which is suing Nebraska's DMV for rejecting an application for a vanity plate that read "NE 420" on the grounds that the "420" might promote marijuana use. Bonus points: the DMV also argued that 420 was not appropriate because it "could be associated" with Hitler's birthday (4/20/1889) or Columbine (4/20/1999).
- Studies showing that looking at naked people may make you smarter, especially given the possibility of a topless basketball league. (both via Dave Barry)
- People who read this blog. See, e.g., you.