Assorted Stupidity #150

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  • As we have discussed many times, fleeing into a body of water is not going to help you escape the authorities, given the inherent superiority that bipeds on land will necessarily have over one forced to struggle in an aquatic environment for which he is ill-suited. Also not advised, though for slightly different reasons, would be fleeing onto a rooftop, as in this incident last week in the UK. Different circumstances, same differential-mobility problem.
  • Turns out that incident was a double-header: during the 12-hour standoff, police arrested a man for allegedly trying to sell stolen goods to the crowd that gathered to watch the spectacle. Though the police presence was quite obvious, the man still “reportedly approached members of the public trying to sell what was believed to be stolen meat.” (I think they mean it was believed to be stolen, not that it was believed to be meat, but I guess it could be both.) Apparently believing there was something suspicious about walking around trying to sell meat to people, police investigated and later arrested the man. (Bonus points to whoever put quotes in the headline, “Man arrested after ‘trying to sell meat’ at rooftop standoff crime scene,” which makes it sound like a euphemism for something even less appealing.)
  • UPDATE: On International Women’s Day, Scottish first minister Nicola Sturgeon formally apologized to the 4,000 women Scotland prosecuted for witchcraft between 1563 and 1736, when it finally quit doing that. See Scotland Reportedly Planning to Pardon All Witches” (Jan. 6, 2022). The report says that the possibility of a legislative pardon is still being considered. It’s hard to see what the holdup might be, but on the other hand, I guess there’s no particular reason to hurry.
  • An American family vacationing in Israel caused a commotion last week when they tried to take a souvenir home with them. Ordinarily this isn’t a problem, but be aware that many airports have a rule about traveling with unexploded mortar shells. The family had been visiting the Golan Heights, once a war zone but now apparently a tourist destination, where they picked up the live round. By “commotion” I mean “near-panic,” which ensued after security officials sounded an alert. Videos showed travelers in the terminal “ducking for cover, running and screaming,” which is terrible, but “at least one person was injured after trying to run on a conveyor belt,” which is hilarious.
  • According to this report from February, the lawyer in question is listed as a member in good standing with the Florida Bar Association. And she still is, demonstrating that Florida (correctly) does not consider stripping naked at a bar and repeatedly refusing to put your clothes back on to be a violation of the Rules of Professional Conduct.