Brilliant Arguments

Kids Not Supposed to Ride on Roof of Car, Apparently

First they tell you kids can't ride in the trunk, now they get upset about having them ride on the roof.  What's a mother to do? Police in Albertville, Alabama, arrested a 37-year-old woman on Sunday and charged her with…



Monkey Mask Fails to Defeat Traffic Camera

This may seem at first like a great idea for beating those automatic photo-enforcement cameras they set up to catch speeders: I would honestly like to be able to say this idea worked and that there was still a mystery…



Michael Jackson’s Death Led to Arson, Says Arsonist

The death of the King of Pop has certainly affected each and every one of us, and we show our respect and our grief in various ways.  Some buy his music, some build makeshift shrines, and some set fire to…


Cat Blamed For Pornography

Police in Florida say a man accused of possessing child pornography has claimed that his cat downloaded the material while he was in the other room.  The officers immediately apologized for the intrusion and everyone laughed about the crazy things…


Judge Who Lost Pants Loses Another Suit

It seems that our old friend Roy L. Pearson, Jr., he of the $65 million pants, has recovered sufficiently from losing that case to get on with losing another one. This one was a wrongful-termination lawsuit against the District of Columbia,…


Swine-Flu Defense Fails In DUI Case

Back in the day, as I recall, we blamed (or tried to blame) el Niño for pretty much everything, but now it seems to be swine flu – I mean, the H1N1 virus.  At least, blaming H1N1 is apparently all the rage in…



Nevada Supreme Court to Pretend to Consider Bail for O.J.

Nevada's highest court (and its only appellate court) will hear oral argument on August 3 as to whether O.J. Simpson should be allowed to go free on bond while he appeals his conviction for that gun-waving memorabilia negotiation he conducted…