Brilliant Arguments

Convicted Terrorist’s Demand for High-Fiber Diet is Rejected

Let's all shed a tear, shall we, for Terry Nichols, who is not only serving a life sentence for conspiracy and manslaughter in the Oklahoma City bombing but is also subjected to a diet unconstitutionally low in fiber. That's what Nichols argued, at…


Fools Convicted

Conviction affirmed, technically, but I liked the sound of this headline better. Kurt Johnson and Dale Heineman were accused of scamming homeowners by promising to get rid of their mortgage debt for a fee.  They did get rid of it,…


Fat Rapist Claims Confession Was Coerced by Junk-Food Offer

Big-bellied rapist Bruce Tuck, a flabby 275-pounder who was somewhat uncreatively nicknamed the "Big-Bellied Rapist" during a string of crimes he committed in Tennessee, has now argued in court papers that his confession was coerced because a detective offered him…



Not Fooling Anyone

Here are just a few of the people who were not fooling anyone this week: Jean Marc Viau, an Edmonton man who claimed an officer beat him up after a traffic stop, when asked in court if he had been…


“Carlos the Jackal” Still Worried About His Image

Convicted terrorist and murderer Carlos Ilyich Ramirez Sanchez, also known as "Carlos the Jackal," is still upset about how he is portrayed in the new movie, "Carlos," which premiered at Cannes in May.  Ramirez is fuming about the movie from…


No Waiting for Dubious Arguments at the Blagojevich Trial

The corruption trial of former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich started this morning, but he fired the first salvo before even walking in the front door.  It missed. His lawyers filed a motion prior to opening statements arguing that Blagojevich had…



Google Maps Made Me Walk Onto the Highway, Woman Claims

In my opinion, mapping software paired with GPS technology is one of the more remarkable developments of the modern age, but you know what?  You do still need to look where you're going occasionally.  Please remember this if you are…