Brilliant Arguments

Absence of Goats Cited as Reason for Speeding

Speeders continue to provide proof of the human race’s endless capacity for coming up with excuses.  On Sunday, a Swiss tourist caught speeding in Ontario, Canada, said he had been driving so fast because he cannot do so in his…



NJ Appeals Court Holds No Duty to Warn About Gravity

This week, the New Jersey Appellate Division ruled that a bunk-bed manufacturer has no duty to warn the user of a bunk bed that rolling off the top bunk during sleep may result in gravitationally induced injuries. This ruling was…


America’s Proudest Pedophile

Phillip Distasio took a new and different approach to defending against pedophilia charges at his pretrial hearing in Cleveland this week.  His defense: admit with pride that you are a pedophile. "I’m a pedophile," he told the judge on Wednesday. …


Clever New Zealanders Self-Reclassify Cars to Save on Taxes

New Zealand’s Transport Registration Center said it will be swiftly contacting residents who, it has learned, registered their cars as "noncommercial hearses" instead of personal vehicles so they could save about $80 in fees.  "Noncommercial hearses" and ambulances are exempt…



Sign-Switcher Convicted Anyway

I believe I reported a while ago on the case of John Hopwood, British motorist and speeder who was ticketed after a camera caught him driving 48 mph in a 30-mph zone. Hopwood did the obvious thing: go get your…


Pimp Sues Customers For Engaging in Illegal Activity

A Dutch man who formerly lived in Florida, but was deported after being charged with running one of the largest escort services in the Southeast, has sued six of his former customers for breaking the law while being "escorted."  By…



Order Denying Motion for Incomprehensibility

That’s the actual title, and those are the actual grounds for denial.  Quality work from Judge Leif Clark of the Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Texas.  Complete with footnote to Adam Sandler movie "Billy Madison." The Smoking Gun.com