Louisiana Convenience Store Robbed by Pirate

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Last week I reported that Butte, Montana, was apparently plagued by leprechauns around St. Patrick’s Day. This week it’s pirates in Louisiana.

Police in New Iberia said they had arrested a man in connection with the robbery of a Food N Fun convenience store on Saturday, March 19. The suspect, Brandon Doucet, 28, is accused of entering the store about 8 pm, with a sword clenched between his teeth, and growling at the clerk. It appears that the growl was a not-fully-articulated “Arrrrrr!”, since the clerk described the man as acting “like a pirate.” As the sheriff put it, “If he had been wearing a patch and a hat on his head and a parrot, [the clerk] would have thought he was a pirate.” (Since he wasn’t, he was only “like a pirate,” I guess, and thus not believed to be an actual pirate. Hey, maybe it was Captain Morgan.) Growling continuously, the man walked behind the counter, grabbed some tobacco and whiskey — typical pirate booty — and then left the store.

Police spotted the suspect’s car shortly thereafter and a chase ensued. Yon pirate sideswiped at least two other vessels before dousing his running lamps, leaving the highway and driving down a dirt road, “only to find a dirt mound at the end of it, which police say he proceeded to hit, ending the chase.”

The accused buccaneer is being held in the Iberia Parish jail on a $250,000 bond, which seems like a lot for a pirate.

Baton Rouge Advocate