- "Cops find man isn't dead, just a slob" (NY Daily News)
- "Man to Somerville Police: 'I'm naked. You can't take me'" (Somerville Journal)
- "Men's room rant to judge leads to jail sentence" (Associated Press)
- "Driver plows into Grand Junction liquor store; alcohol suspected" (Denver Post)
- "Police: Ohio robbery suspect asked victim for date" (AP via Yahoo! News)
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