Assorted Stupidity #33

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  • The devoted White Castle customer who sued after he became too fat to squeeze into the booths has dropped his case. As you may recall from Assorted Stupidity #27, Martin Kessman said he had been waiting years for his local White Castle to accommodate him, and during that time had been forced to send his wife to get burgers for him. According to the report, Kessman dropped the suit after the company added a table with movable chairs to the restaurant.
  • Televangelist Pat Robertson, describing a talk with God in which the latter said a "time of great peril" was approaching but wouldn't give details: "So I’m saying, ‘God, let me give you some suggestions and you tell me if any of them is right, pick one…. I said, is it an EMP blast? No [God said], that isn’t it. Is it a cosmic or solar or radiation blast? No. Is it Mayan galaxy alignment? No. Is it Iranian or North Korean nuclear threat? No. Is it an earthquake or a volcano? No. Is it a massive power failure? No." It's not clear how long this went on, but both of them eventually got sick of it. "What is it?" Robertson said he finally asked. "It’s an economic collapse." Um, Pat? That's old news. God just wanted you to quit bugging him.
  • Five men are now on their way to the Ross Sea off Antarctica, having departed the other day from Auckland, New Zealand. It was supposed to be four men, but a boat mechanic was reportedly caught on board when the crew cast off in a hurry as government officials approached. The dangerous trip is not authorized and authorities were trying to stop it. Team leader Jarle Andhoy conceded in a radio interview that it was a "somewhat tricky situation," but said the voyage would go on (which I'm pretty sure is kidnapping). The purpose of the trip is reportedly to find the wreckage of Andhoy's previous yacht, which sank during a similar expedition last year.
  • "[A]nother plan Nash explored, the agent said, was forcing the man into a hot tub and electrocuting him with a radio tossed into the water, followed by kitty litter that Nash thought would prompt authorities to believe the animal was the culprit in the killing." — CBS News, reporting on an attempted murder that the suspect planned to blame on a cat.