Assorted Stupidity #107

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  • Speaking of men and the WTF things some of us do, female employees of the public defender’s office in Cook County, Illinois, have filed a class action alleging that officials have failed to stop “daily abuses” by male detainees who expose themselves and … so forth, as well as other incidents of sexual assault. Among the allegations is a claim that the sheriff’s office made things worse by having a “policy that rewarded alleged repeat abusers with pizza if they stopped.” The policy backfired, allegedly, because some detainees who learned of it would then start acting out just so they could get pizza when they stopped.
  • Here’s yet another example of why it’s a bad idea to try to thwart carjackers—or anyone, really—by jumping onto the hood of a moving car. (Here’s a previous example, with an outstanding video taken from the next lane over.)
  • Bonus points: police asked citizens to call if they were “on London Road, A40 between High Wycombe and Beaconsfield between 5:30 and 6:30 pm” and saw someone clinging to the hood of a vehicle. Please, no calls regarding those other times you were on the A40 and saw someone clinging to the hood of a vehicle. It will only impede the investigation.
  • Chuck Norris and his wife Gena are suing several health-care companies in San Francisco Superior Court, alleging that she was injured by a chemical used as a contrast agent in MRI scans. The person who sent me this commented, “I am normally all about the rule of law, but shouldn’t Chuck Norris just go down and kick all their asses?” I would say—well, it’s possible my firm represents one of those companies, so I will say nothing.
  • Norris appeared once in an episode of a show called Martial Law, but that’s the only reference to the law I see in his filmography. He did of course play numerous law-enforcement officers such as Walker, Texas Ranger, but as far as I can tell his role was mainly to subdue suspects, not to testify or anything like that.
  • This article contains the phrases “no-sex clauses” and “What?! That’s crazy!” but they relate to two different things. And speaking of two different things, the case involves a surrogate mother who gave birth to twins, one of whom was African-American and the other was Chinese. So yes, another example of—say it with me—heteropaternal superfecundation. Not a phrase you get to use very often, but fun to say, so I’m gonna use it whenever I can.