Severe Chelyabinsk Disney
That's how Google (mis)translated the title of this YouTube post, but I actually liked it a lot. It's very likely staged, because (1) it's too good to be true and (2) if the guys with the dash cam weren't in…
Alternative Dispute Resolution
Fingolfin Defeated Again by Morgoth (This Time in Portland)
The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf. But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by…
Congratulations to the Contest Winners
Thanks to the 1297 people who signed up at Goodreads.com for the chance to win one of three signed copies of The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance. I guess I forgot to mention that the winners would be decided by physical combat, not…
Counter-Petition Asks to Deport People Who Signed Other Petitions
Well, the "We the People" petition site is getting even sillier, although I know that seems hard to believe. As I reported yesterday, a petition asking that Texas be allowed to secede was the first of many state-secession petitions to…
Texas Votes to Secede
Well, not exactly. It would be more accurate to say that enough people have signed a petition in favor of allowing Texas to secede that the White House will have to issue a formal but in no way binding response…
Mullet Guilty in Beard Case
Samuel Mullet, leader of what has been variously described as a "sect," a "cult," and an "Amish beard-cutting mob," was convicted on Thursday along with his children and 11 other family members and followers. The Mullet Mob was charged with federal hate…
Second Man Beaten With Own Leg by Leg-Wielding Girlfriend
"I have never heard of someone beating someone with a prosthetic leg," said Kristy Harnish, a resident of Baker, Florida, after being asked by a reporter whether she had ever heard of that. That means she either doesn't read this…
Don’t Mess With The Oatmeal
Matthew Inman, who runs the hilarious and extremely popular site The Oatmeal, announced the other day that he had been threatened by a lawyer representing FunnyJunk.com over this post in which he noted that FunnyJunk had reposted hundreds of his original…
Muslim Police Break Up Christian Broomstick Fight in Bethlehem
Someone pushed his broom into disputed territory, apparently.
No Winner in Tomahawk-Speargun Battle
So you're driving along in your patrol car at the end of a long day when you notice a gentleman out on the lawn holding a tomahawk over his head. Upon further observation, you notice another gentleman on a nearby…