Jury Deliberates in Sandwich-Assault Case [Update: Not Guilty]
Agent claims sandwich “exploded” on his chest, says he “could smell the onions and the mustard.”
Criminal
Okay, It Seems to Have Been Pretty Successful
If it happened at all.
Was That Scuba Burglary a Successful Aquatic Escape?
It remains to be seen … but maybe.
Yet More Aquatic Escape Attempts
People show no signs of stopping, even though these show no signs of working.
Alleged Irish Orphan Convicted of Being American Rapist
By a Utah jury, following extradition from Scotland.
Sea-Cucumber Abuser to Be “Moved Far From the Sea for a Long Period of Time”
Sea cucumbers would breathe a sigh of relief, if they had lungs.
Defendant Recruited Seven Actors to “Testify” in Fraud Trial
“Are you a real lawyer?” one of them asked defense counsel.
Drunken Mule-Rider Accused of Assault With Deadly Raccoon
Even in Kentucky the assault charge isn’t going to stick.
Arsonist Reportedly on Fire
Always funny.
Party Frowns on Members Punching Constituents
This is still considered bad form in the UK, apparently.