Baby Indicted
It’s about time we started holding infants responsible.
The Inexplicable
Customers Who Viewed The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance Also Viewed….
As I've mentioned, and as many of you noticed independently, for some time the only thing Amazon found in response to a search for "emergency sasquatch ordinance" was The Booty Call Kit ("The Emergency Kit For When Booty Happens!" which…
Court Finds Fan Club Members Were Harmed by Michael Jackson’s Death
"As far as I know," said the plaintiffs' lawyer, "this is the first time in the world that the notion of emotional damage in connection with a pop star has been recognized." He meant legally recognized, because who hasn't suffered some sort…
Look, Just Because You Think of Something, You Don’t Have to Patent It
Here's a good example of that proposition: Design patent D697,706 was, for some reason, issued last week to someone in Brooklyn. It claims only the ornamental design of the handle, not the umbrella part or the whole creepy assemblage. Ridiculous patents…
Be on the Lookout
From the police blotter in Jefferson County, Colorado: Suspect yells "hot dog," throws one. On December 26 an employee of Subway … told Jefferson County sheriff's deputies that he was in the store when a man came in and yelled…
Atomic Wedgie Cited as Cause of Death
Well, a cause of death. The victim's death in this Oklahoma case was attributed to "blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation," and I'd be willing to bet that blunt-force trauma was the real culprit here but the report does say that…
Plaintiff Who Was “Pantsed” Appeals Six-Figure Verdict in His Favor
I have no sympathy for bullies, who are usually criminals in training. Still, you wouldn't expect to see one get sued for "pantsing" someone. If that did happen, you wouldn't expect to see the plaintiff be awarded $161,000. And if…
Interpreter Now Claiming Schizophrenia; Legal-Humor Bloggers Not Buying It
Not this one, anyway. Reporters were able to track down Thamsanqa Jantjie, the guy who appeared at first to be doing the sign-language interpretation for the Mandela memorial service but who turned out to be … not doing that. See "Sign-Language Interpreter…
Sign-Language Interpreter Actually Just “Waving His Arms Around Meaninglessly,” Experts Say
Mostly off-topic, but one of my favorite things ever to happen.
No, I Don’t See Anything Wrong With This Lawyer Ad. Why Do You Ask? [Updated]
Okay, yes, I can see without even starting the video that it's going to be based on an offensive racial stereotype. That is true. The attire, the coolie hat, and—wow—the glasses with fake squinty eyes painted on the lenses, do…