2005

New Chief Justice Drops Arm Stripes

New Chief Justice John Roberts has apparently decided not to follow the legacy of his predecessor William Rehnquist—at least in robe style. Rehnquist wore a robe with four gold stripes on each arm to indicate his status as the chief….


Patient Suing Doctor for “Sex Treatments”

An Oregon woman is suing her former doctor for battery, negligence, and intentional infliction of emotional distress, alleging that he prescribed sexual intercourse in response to her claims of lower-back pain.  The doctor, who filled the prescription himself, charged the…


Chicken-Wing Assault Leaves None Dead, Three Under Arrest

Beverly Campbell objected to being stopped by police on September 23, for allegedly driving the wrong way down a one-way street.  Campbell, who is 61 and had just left a party at a local community center, was arrested after assaulting…



Santa Compensated for Loss of Reindeer

In February, a Danish man who works as a part-time Santa Claus, or whatever they call it in Daneland, filed a claim with the Danish Air Force saying that one of his reindeer had died of a heart attack after…


Witchcraft Class Ruled Tax-Deductible

Dutch tax officials have ruled that a woman can deduct about $2200 that she spent on a witchcraft-training class, on the grounds that she was using the class to "extend her professional knowledge." Apparently, she was training for her employment…


Supreme Court Will Hear Anna Nicole Smith’s Case

CNN reports today that the U.S. Supreme Court has accepted the appeal of Anna Nicole Smith, stripper-turned-Playmate-turned-reality-TV-star who is seeking $474 million from the estate of her husband, who was 89 when she married him, and who is now unsurprisingly…


Ban Sought on Using Defendant’s Nickname

Arguments were held Friday in a Pennsylvania criminal case about whether the defendant may be referred to as "scuz" during the course of his murder trial.  Defense attorney Laurence Harmelin argued that the term would prejudice the jury, and cited…


Man Breaks Into Fiji President’s House For Low-Impact Workout

25-year-old Iowane Tuinamasi was apprehended recently after the wife of Fiji’s president caught him doing push-ups in their official residence. Police said that Tuinamasi jumped a fence, evaded security and broke into the house, and then turned on loud music…


Drill-Team Dance-Off Ends in Major Brawl; Arrests Follow

Opening what police called “a whole new arena” of crime, two arrests were made Saturday night after an impromptu “dance-off” between rival Wichita drill teams turned into a major altercation. One team, the “Dynamic Steppers,” was practicing Saturday night when…