What’s worse than stealing $250K from an elderly friend? Stealing it from an elderly friend who was one of the Tuskegee Airmen. Also, spending his life savings on “crypto and personal expenses,” leaving him with no money for health care. Also, abusing the trust he put in you by giving you power of attorney. And also, you were until recently the presiding judge of the Child Protection Division in Cook County, Illinois. Given all this, it only makes sense that you would get—probation? No. But actually yes.
Headline: “A man was running from police. Eight llamas caught him.” This might be a slight exaggeration. The llamas’ owner heard “warning cries in the distance” one night, and upon investigating “he found the family’s eight llamas encircling” a trespasser. But the article cites no evidence of an actual pursuit. The man “seemed terrified,” the owner said, but managed to break away and jump over a fence. Police (from whom he also was running) soon caught him. “Quite frankly, I think they did pretty good police work,” the owner said, referring to the llamas.
Are llamas known for pursuing and/or capturing humans? No—unless you have the bad luck to run into one suffering from “Berserk Llama Syndrome.” Also called “Aberrant Behavior Syndrome,” this is said to occur when an animal is not raised correctly, becoming strongly territorial and potentially aggressive toward humans. Because this is also true of humans, I’m not sure it’s a “syndrome” at all, but I’m no llama expert. Because llamas can weigh up to 600 pounds, it might well be terrifying to suddenly encounter eight of them in the dark even if they aren’t trying to kill you. Anyway, this guy was trespassing, so the llamas are not to blame.
According to an opinion issued last week, reasonable consumers wouldn’t think a “boneless chicken wing” must necessarily be an actual chicken wing with the bones removed. Halim v. Buffalo Wild Wings, Inc., No. 23-cv-01495 (N.D. Ill. Feb. 17, 2026). The defendant’s product is boneless, and it is chicken. It’s just not a chicken wing, nor is it exclusively chicken wing meat. “Essentially a chicken nugget,” as the court put it. The plaintiff claimed he thought it was an actual wing that had been deboned, and had he known the awful truth, he would not have purchased it. The court also noted that “Buffalo Wild Wings” doesn’t sell anything made from the wing of a buffalo, in case somebody’s considering that one.
See also Berkheimer v. REKM, LLC, 253 N.E.3d 1, 7 (Ohio 2024) (also holding reasonable consumers wouldn’t think “boneless wings” must necessarily be wings, “just as a person eating ‘chicken fingers’ would know that he had not been served fingers.”)
Hey, what about the “McRib”? Well, I can tell you that before too much longer, my friends, that story will also be told. And it will be a similar story.
Does a law prohibiting grass more than 20 centimetres high unfairly infringe on a homeowner’s right to freedom of expression? Yes, if the homeowner is an environmentalist who prizes “ecological diversity,” according to one recent opinion. This happened in Canada (but you already guessed that because (1) the law says “centimetres” and (2) Canadians still have rights). Ontario’s Superior Court of Justice rejected most of the self-represented homeowner’s many arguments, but held the city did not meet its burden to show the law was at least “reasonably tailored” to achieve its goals. The city apparently offered “no evidence” at all on this point, which probably helps explain the result.
