Assorted Stupidity #35

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  • I need a new name for these summaries (“Assorted Oddities”?) because sometimes something seems worth a brief mention but may not really involve “stupidity.”
  • Like this one, in which a Colorado man is facing criminal charges because his dog bit a news anchor in the face on live TV. The dog was an 85-pound Argentine mastiff that had been saved after falling into a frozen lake (hence the TV appearance). I love dogs and might well pet and/or even put my face close to the mouth of a dog I don’t know. I don’t think I would put my face close to the mouth of an 85-pound Argentine mastiff named “Gladiator Maximus,” though. But I guess you never really know until you’re in that situation.
  • As you may recall, I don’t like the Salahis (see White House Party Crashers Now Suing Each Other,” Lowering the Bar (Feb. 16, 2012), so I was amused to learn they have been under investigation for fraud involving their foundation, “Journey for the Cure.” According to the Virginia AG, the foundation’s website claimed that 100 percent of donations would go to children’s charities, but most of it may have gone into adult pockets — in 2008, charities got a grand total of one percent. (Probably a simple misunderstanding about what zeroes mean.) Tareq Salahi has agreed to pay about $35,000 to settle the charges.
  • In other horrible-person news, alleged-teen-exploiter-and-woman-puncher Joe Francis is claiming that Madonna changed the name of her new single to “Girl Gone Wild” in response to a cease-and-desist letter he sent her. Madonna’s representatives have told different stories about this, but all deny it had anything to do with Francis’s threats. Her manager pointed out that dozens of other songs have been called “Girls Gone Wild” with no legal action by anybody, which is consistent with my recollection that titles alone generally can’t be copyrighted or trademarked. Francis insists there is a settlement in the works, but he’s usually wrong.
  • That last one did involve stupidity.
  • So does this. A group of Spanish thieves stole sacks containing diamonds and Rolex watches, from a warehouse last Thursday but then had a flat tire while waiting to flee. They carjacked a nearby vehicle and escaped, but forgot to take the loot with them. Police found it in the back of the wrecked getaway car. I guess they did end up with a car to replace the one they wrecked, but whoever was in charge of the loot is gonna have some ‘splaining to do. See also Camera Catches Moment Robber Realized Robbery Not Going as Planned,” Lowering the Bar (Feb. 17, 2010) (involving a guy who ditched the coat he wore during the robbery, only to later realize that was the coat with the money in it).