Man Says He Danced on Police Car’s Roof to Summon Aid Against Vampires

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Here's how this goes sometimes.

Sometimes you write something you really like. And since you're kind of on a roll you don't stop to save it after every frickin' paragraph because you'd like to think that maybe the wifi network you're on is advanced enough that it could maintain a signal for up to 20 minutes at a time without wigging out. But it isn't, apparently, and so when it locks up you lose all that work and you get discouraged and hang it up for the day. Or maybe you just don't have time to finish it. But in either case, you had already saved the link to the news item itself and so you leave the thing sitting there in the the draft folder because you might go back to it later. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Life goes on. New and even stupider things happen every day. They must also be addressed. And so your draft folder grows. Maybe you've been doing this long enough now that for various reasons you have well over 300 posts in your draft folder, dating back several years. (That's really not relevant here, but I just counted them and it seems like a lot.) The reality is that some things that are lost will never be recovered, some work will never be finished, and you just have to accept that and move on.

But sometimes you learn later that the guy who was dancing on the roof of a police car, about whom you had written something that you recall you liked a lot but was completely lost due to network problems, because we can somehow get a consistent signal from Pluto for Christ's sake but not from across the room, said he was doing that dance because he was trying to summon the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him rescue some kids from a bunch of vampires.

That is one way something might make it out of the draft folder.

* * *

In June, the gentleman in the clip below was arrested after he was seen dancing on the roof of an official vehicle of the local sheriff's department, while it was parked in the driveway of the sergeant to whom it was assigned. Happily, this was captured by a surveillance camera that also records audio. This really improves the clip, as it can be heard that the guy was dancing to "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates and then "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp. For a while he's just dancing, but then he pulls one of the windshield wipers off, which is not cool. He then grabbed an American flag from a house across the street and began waving it around, which is less uncool but still not okay, under the circumstances. Not long after that, police arrive.

A brief chase ensues.


According to a probable-cause statement posted by The Smoking Gun (thanks, Steven), the suspect was "clear and alert when advising that he had not taken any recreational drugs or alcohol, and was not currently diagnosed with any mental health conditions." He then advised that he had come to that location "because when he opened his front door, a woman with fangs was threatening him, and that a human sacrifice was about to occur involving vampires. Therefore, [he] made the conscious decision to get the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him stop the slaughter of small children."

The suspect then invoked his Miranda rights and refused to answer any further questions.

The report doesn't say whether the man was in fact under the influence of something (drugs, alcohol, or vampires) at the time of the incident, but feel free to speculate.