Assorted Stupidity #114

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  • The only thing worse than being too busy (which I have been for the past week) is not being busy enough. Although it does take a while for the latter to be bad in any way. In any event, now that things are somewhat back to normal, let’s get caught up, however slightly, on all the stupid things going on.
  • Here’s one way to lose a defamation case: be such an a-hole in your affidavit that the judge decides what the defendant said about you is probably true. Case dismissed.
  • In other news, that guy has a son, although none of the reports are very clear about how that can possibly have happened. They are clear that he has been failing to pay child support, though. Rotondo was back in court on June 6 so he could try to explain to a judge why he is $2,600 behind on the $56-a-week payments. Since he described the judge’s demand that he “find a job” as “outrageous, you can probably guess how that went.
  • Oh, he has been paying $200 a month for five years—while not paying child support—to store a nonfunctional 1980s-vintage Camaro, but now that’s enough about him, perhaps forever.
  • “I’ve been trying cases for almost 40 years,” said defense lawyer Daniel Hernandez, “and I’d never been struck by a defendant before.” He has now, though. In fact, he was struck by two, who apparently blamed him for their conviction on felony-murder charges in May. If you’d like to see a video clip of the resulting courtroom melee, fracas, altercation, and/or incident, the Ocala Star-Banner‘s got you covered.
  • Lazier and/or less murderous criminals may wish to consider the strategy of simply filling out a change-of-address form that asks for the mail of a major corporation to be directed to your apartment. Because that apparently works (for a while). According to the Chicago Tribune, it took months for anyone to notice that United Parcel Service had apparently decided to move its headquarters from a sprawling business park in Atlanta to a small garden apartment in Chicago. The occupant’s mail carrier helpfully brought extra tubs to hold the thousands of pieces of mail being delivered to the new facility, which actually was  the residence of a single 24-year-old person, not UPS’s national hub.
  • On the other hand, that is not a great strategy because it involves providing an address at which you may be found, should anyone care to look. And they eventually will.