Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Succeeds!
It was only about a week ago that I mentioned the poor track record of the strategy of sitting down for lunch in the vicinity of your crime, and now here's a case where this actually may have worked. Last…
Criminal
Karaoke-Triggered Assault Sends Man Through Plate-Glass Window
With the news that half of Americans now favor legalizing marijuana – a number that as many have pointed out is significantly higher than the approval rating of any of our current leaders – isn't it finally time to end…
A Pistol in the Pants Can Lead to Trouble
Doesn't seem like much good could ever come of this, really. Ask Plaxico Burress, or this guy. Bonus points: he was hunting possums. Bonus quote: Mountain Safety Council chief executive Darryl Carpenter said people shot themselves accidentally "surprisingly very little."…
The Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Is Still Not Working
Order a big meal while you have a chance.
How to Get Back at Your Ex: First, Kill a Bear
Kind of a big first step, actually.
Police Skeptical of Suspect’s Claim to Be Invisible
Here's some free advice. If you find yourself telling someone that you are "invisible" and "unstoppable," and the person you are telling that to is a police officer, you are neither one of those things. I guess that's really all there…
Saudi King Cancels Whipping of Female Driver
The king of Saudi Arabia, who has been making some reforms in an effort to drag that country firmly into the 17th century, has overturned the punishment handed out to Shaima Jastaina, convicted of the unholy crime of "driving without…
California Authorities Still Puzzled by Mystery Enema
The lesson here is that if somebody shows up unannounced and proposes this kind of thing, don’t just assume your doctor sent her.
Man Demands Hot Sauce at Gunpoint
As we've seen many times, it is rarely a good idea to take the law into your own hands, even in response to the most dastardly outrages such as an inexplicable condiment omission. And yet it continues to happen. On…
Jail Time for Overdue Library Books
The court also fined him $625 for failing to return the books (which were not identified).