Lawsuit: Defendant Breached a Duty Not to Shoot Bottle Rockets Out of His Anus
Said act is alleged to be an “ultra-hazardous” activity.
Documents/Pleadings
For Christmas, Your Government Will Explain Why It’s Legal to Kill You
Ha! Just kidding! It won't tell you that. That's classified! Plaintiffs The New York Times Company, Charlie Savage, and Scott Shane (jointly, "NYT"), by their undersigned attorney, allege for their Complaint: 1. This is an action under the Freedom of Information…
NOTE: “Catholic Beast” Is Not a Legal Term of Art
Further, using this term in a brief to refer to a judge in your case is not recommended. In fact it is super-highly unrecommended. The Wall Street Journal reports today that a civil-rights group has filed a bar complaint concerning…
New Web Series “The Bottom Rung”: Life of a Document Reviewer
Those of you who have ever slogged or are currently slogging through a document-review project, which I suppose includes most lawyers on Earth, may want to check out a new web series on Bitter Lawyer called "The Bottom Rung." The…
They Made Apollo 11 Go Through Customs
Departure from: MOON Arrival at: HONOLULU, HAWAII, U.S.A. Flight No.: APOLLO 11 Cargo: MOON ROCK AND MOON DUST SAMPLES Nothing else to declare, I guess. Except that they had just Walked on the F*#%ing Moon! Probably…
Judge Invites Bickering Attorneys to “Kindergarten Party”
When judges get fed up with discovery disputes, this might happen: Greetings and Salutations! You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth…
Dismissal of “Bad Mothering” Lawsuit Affirmed
Ladies and gentlemen, over the years we have seen some horrifying examples of man's inhumanity to man. Also man's inhumanity to woman, woman's inhumanity to man, and woman's inhumanity to woman, plus at least some examples of man's inhumanity to…
Court: No, One Person Can’t Be a “Partnership”
I’m a strong believer that in legal writing, an introduction should pretty much tell you everything you need to know. This one does. The parties to this appeal, a partnership dispute, agree on one issue. They want us to assume…
News of Settlement Makes Court “Happier Than a Tick on a Fat Dog”
The best work of this kind seems to get done when a judge and/or clerk is sufficiently bored or exasperated, but apparently relief can have the same sort of effect: [S]uch news of an amicable settlement having made this Court…
Fifth Circuit Smacks Down Disgruntled-Cheerleader-Mom Lawsuit
“It is a petty squabble, masquerading as a civil rights matter, that has no place in federal court or any other court.”