Quentin Tarantino Settles Angry-Birds Case

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It appears that Quentin Tarantino and his neighbor, Alan Ball of "American Beauty" and "True Blood" fame, have resolved their differences over the nuisance allegedly caused by Ball's collection of exotic birds. Tarantino sued Ball and his partner in March, saying that the "blood-curdling," "pter[o]dactyl-like screams" emitted by the "prehistoric-sounding" birds were seriously disrupting his ability to write, and that despite efforts to resolve the matter amicably, "Defendants have done little to eliminate the [m]acaws' daily cacophony."

It is tempting to think that Tarantino helped write this complaint.

Whoever wrote it, it alleges that the defendants, who live just below Tarantino (down the hill, I assume – I doubt these guys are in an apartment building), own a number of macaws, "a large variety of wild parrot known for its intolerably loud screech and for behaving poorly in captivity." True to form, these miscreants utter "ear-splitting shrieks and screams," which the plaintiff said had become intolerable by last February. When he complained, defendants said they would build a "soundproofed outdoor aviary" and keep the birds inside it. They did that, but Tarantino alleges that the aviary is not in fact soundproof, and somehow actually made the problem worse. That's when he got Marty Singer involved.

Tarantino (picture: Stefano Paltera/AP)Get those pterodactyls out of here

Singer, described in a recent NYT profile story as "guard dog to the stars," also represents such celebrities as Jeremy Piven, Sylvester Stallone, and most recently Charlie Sheen, who Singer described as a "victim." (Of what or whom, the story didn't say.) Singer disclosed the fact of the settlement in the NYT story, in which he also credited the lawsuit with clearing the way for Tarantino's best work ever, namely the script he has now been able to finish. "Some people said it's the best script he's ever written," Singer claimed, "because he had the peace and quiet."

The script reportedly is a Western set in the time of slavery, but I'm really looking forward to the scene where a gang of macaws die in a hail of gunfire.