2005

SUV Comically Destroyed in Fiery Crash

San Francisco police said they would cite Jonathan Fish for a misdemeanor in connection with the destruction of his 2004 Ford Expedition on Thursday, February 17. Apparently, it is a misdemeanor in San Francisco to toss a burning cigarette onto…


Police Put Clamp on Injured Man’s Ambulance Until Fine is Paid

A spokeswoman for Dublin International Airport announced today that in the future, airport police will exempt emergency vehicles from their policy of booting, or clamping, any vehicle parked in an emergency-vehicle zone. The change follows a recent incident in which…


Nebraska Supreme Court Spares Life of Dog

On Friday, the Nebraska Supreme Court vacated the death sentence that had been meted out to Murphy, an Alaskan-malamute-shepherd mix, for injuring a neighbor dog in 2001. The state supreme court reviews such cases in Nebraska because it has little…


Thai Sex Tycoon Smashes Bathtub to Prove Fitness for Office

Chuvit Kamolvisit, known in Thailand as “Tycoon Tub” for the chain of massage parlor/sex shops that made him rich, staged a flamboyant public spectacle on Friday after his election to parliament, saying he was ritually cleansing himself of his former…


Yet Another Flatulent-Shoe Lawsuit

Goosebumps Products, Inc., a Florida manufacturer of shoe insoles, sued one of its suppliers on Wednesday for sending it a defective chemical that caused gas bubbles to form inside the finished product, so that when worn and stepped upon the…


Let’s Trim Our Hair According to Socialist Lifestyle

Yes, let’s trim it, or else, comrade. The latest obsession of tiny, bizarre, and now nuclear-armed North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is the length of his people’s hair. Starting last October, the government launched a campaign to force all…


Dog Fetches at Wrong Time

Training your dog well can come back to haunt you, as Matt Porter of Richland Hills, Texas, found out on Monday. Porter, his friend Micah Hays, and another man had been stopped by Officer Cris Brichetto on Monday afternoon at…


Update: Virginia Low-Pants Legislation Dies in Senate

 Sadly, the Virginia Senate has already killed the low-pants legislation that passed the state House on Tuesday. After a standing-room-only hearing, a Senate committee voted unanimously to kill the bill, apparently having been embarrassed by news reports about it. Committee…


L.A. Jury’s Mistake A Mere $1.8 Billion

The latest reason to perhaps tinker with the jury system a bit comes to you (again) from sunny Los Angeles, where a jury awarded $1.8 billion (and change) to class members who had sued a Manhattan Beach man for fraud….